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Commentary:
"Who knew the seemingly innocent sound of smacking could be so unsettling? 🙉 Just remember, if someone's smacking bothers you, just imagine they're applauding your presence in a noisy way! 👏😄"

annoyance, coping, hearing, humor, i, peeve, pet, pet peeve, relatable, situations, smack, someone, well

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Billionaires are so weird. What are you saving up for? Hell?

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2 months ago

billionaire, hell, humor, irony, money, sarcasm, saving, wealth, weird
I need to be more disciplined and stop procrastinating, starting tomorrow.

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2 months ago

discipline, humor, i, motivation, need, procrastinate, procrastination, self-control, starting, stop, tomorrow
It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

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2 months ago

activity, balls, confidence, golf, humor, i, lot, sport
I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

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2 months ago

annoyance, chew, eating, exaggeration, food, humor, i, listening, lot, peeve, pet, pet peeve, relatable, sensory, someone, sound, things
Perfume and jewelry are two things you can never go wrong with gifting me.

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4 months ago

gift, gift idea, gifting, humor, idea, jewelry, me, never, perfume, present, things, wrong
I admire how, when babies don’t want to hold something anymore, they just drop it.

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3 weeks ago

admire, baby, behavior, drop, hold, humor, i, just, parenting, something, toddler, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Slack this month:

Don’t get horny around me; I’m an empath.

33 shares on Facebook this month:

Whenever someone tells me how well behaved my kids are, I say it’s cause they’re not at home.

82 shares on Discord this month:

Why do you assume it’s invalid to “make stuff up” during an argument? It shows initiative and creativity.

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

Walking around the art museum and verbally saying, “Banger,” after inspecting a painting.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

Reverse cowgirl so I can bend backward and look at him like the Exorcist.

67 shares on Telegram this month:

Sorry I lied when I said “I can’t complain.”

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

49 shares on Slack this month:

How great is it to do absolutely nothing and follow it up by taking a rest.

54 shares on Instagram this month:

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam, and they’re just using it to make TVs.

40 shares on Threads this month:

“You’re such a stalker!” God forbid a woman wants to know more about her future husband.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

I talk to my dog like she’s human and, like most humans, she looks at me like I’m an idiot.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

“Out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t work for donuts.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

We can’t use nicknames at work anymore, and I blame Teletubby.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Bedtime procrastination isn’t a sleep issue. It’s a control issue. It’s about refusing to give up the last part of the day that feels like yours.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

I love jogging in this heat, cause the sweat hides my tears.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

If buying isn’t owning, then pirating isn’t stealing.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m not an early bird or a night owl, I’m some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a Sighclops.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

Just shared via X:

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug. But you’re not gonna like the performance.

Just landed via X:

Why are conclusions necessary in essays? Were you not following?

Shared recently on X:

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

Just landed via Facebook:

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

Shared recently on Slack:

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

Shared recently on Messenger:

We were never supposed to have this much access to stupid people’s thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I can cope well with most situations. Hearing someone smack is not one of them.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Billionaires are so weird. What are you saving up for? Hell?

I need to be more disciplined and stop procrastinating, starting tomorrow.

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

Perfume and jewelry are two things you can never go wrong with gifting me.

I admire how, when babies don’t want to hold something anymore, they just drop it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨