Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Back to work at last! I couldn’t sleep for sheer anticipation.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

The only guarantee in life is, if you run errands looking like shit, you will run into everyone you haven’t seen in months.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Let’s get married and have kids, so instead of relaxing during weeknights, we can go to seven practices and relearn algebra.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

When I was a kid, we weren’t allowed to use our phones in school. Mainly because the cords wouldn’t reach.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Shoutout to video games, man. I love having a reason to live.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Damaged inside, but outside we keep it gangsta.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,411

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

How do I tell the mosquitoes that I don’t consent?

Trending via TikTok:

Got possessed by a demon once, and everyone was like, “OMG, did you do something with your hair?”

Breaking via Threads:

Not many quicksand-related deaths since the 1970s. Thank God the authorities got that nightmare under control.

Spotted on Telegram:

I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

Making waves on WeChat:

I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

Live now on TikTok:

Social media is a great way to make new enemies.

Shared recently on Slack:

Love is in the air, but so is the flu. Wash your hands!

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

When life hands me lemons, I put them in the fridge next to the bagged salad I’m also not going to eat.

Going viral on Slack:

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

Shared recently on Reddit:

50 shades of single.

I can’t believe we became the adults in the most unaffordable period in history.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess we finally understand why Peter Pan never wanted to grow up! 🧚‍♂️🏠💸

adult, adults, affordability, believe, disbelief, economy, history, i, most, period, unaffordable

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.

0

2 months ago

ask, exercise, fitness, frustration, going, gym, humor, i, months, results, sign, sign up, still, weekend
To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

0

2 months ago

comedy, cut, financial, financial situation, humor, i, joke, money, short, situation, spent, story, storytelling
I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

0

2 months ago

composition, congratulations, flattery, humor, i, post, read, sexy
I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

0

2 months ago

awareness, check, humor, idea, life, life update, marriage, married, media, reality, reality check, relationship, social, social media, surprise, update, world
It’s crazy I need a certificate to prove I was born when you can literally just look at me.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, age, born, certificate, crazy, i, identity, just, me, need, proof, prove
I wanna date one of those guys who really loves their girlfriend.

0

2 months ago

date, desire, girlfriend, guy, guys, i, love, relationship, romantic, romantic desire

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Twitch this month:

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

94 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m actually really fun once you get to know me (takes 3-4 years).

86 shares on Slack this month:

Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

Get a Ring camera so you can yell at your kids when they’re out front and freak them out.

64 shares on WeChat this month:

I dunno what I did in a past life but holy crap I’m sorry.

74 shares on Reddit this month:

Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.

10 shares on Messenger this month:

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

95 shares on Reddit this month:

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

The only thing that drains faster than my phone battery is my bank account.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Getting sent money you didn’t ask for is very sexy.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

I delete posts cause I be getting mature over the hours.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I can’t be the only person who thinks the presidential debate should be performed as a rap battle.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

When I was a kid, we weren’t allowed to use our phones in school. Mainly because the cords wouldn’t reach.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Cocktails can be tricky, because they taste like juice, but then the next thing you know… you can’t walk.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

Just landed via TikTok:

Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

Making waves on Instagram:

Age ceases to be just a number everytime the airline announces seating queue priority.

Just landed via Discord:

Tweeting with no audience feels like screaming jokes into a cornfield.

Spotted on Slack:

Cigarette smell gotta be one of the worst smells in the history of smells.

Spotted on Reddit:

Weight gain makes me sad. Luckily, eating cheers me right back up.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’ve learned my lesson so many times that I could be a teacher.

Just shared via Snapchat:

If an ice cream truck has its music on, are you supposed to pull over and let it pass like an ambulance?

Just shared via Messenger:

Are there cheat codes for parenting teenagers? This level is really hard.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I can’t believe we became the adults in the most unaffordable period in history.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.

To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

It’s crazy I need a certificate to prove I was born when you can literally just look at me.

I wanna date one of those guys who really loves their girlfriend.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨