Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

I’m not worried about WWIII. I’ve been feeding a crow army for three years.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

You ever have your knees crack so good that you expect them to glow in the dark. Yeah, me too.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Headache pro-tip: Bang your toe into something.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Stop making Fast and Furious movies.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Keeping a picture of my bed in a locket around my neck and staring at it longingly on my lunch break.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Too young to retire, too poor to quit and too fat to strip – so let’s move on.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

787 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,949

Funny Quotes Topics

13,921

Funny Quotes Images

10,949

27 minutes ago

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

Netflix & by yourself.

Reported on WhatsApp:

Got a new high score on my bathroom scale.

Going viral on Slack:

I’m so good at missing early morning meetings, I can do it with my eyes closed.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

Live now on Reddit:

When the doorbell rings, I always go to the door with my jacket on. Depending on who it is, I either just want to leave or have just come home.

Spotted on Reddit:

All people make me happy. Some when they come, others when they leave.

Spotted on YouTube:

Hey dude, I recently became omniscient, and well, you fell off in every universe.

Just landed via TikTok:

My phone charger is lying in another room. HELP.

Seen just now on Threads:

Life is just a series of Sopranos references with some other things mixed in.

Just shared via Pinterest:

The best thing about driving in the snow is staying home.

I don’t care for the term drug mule, why can’t it be a drug unicorn.

6 months ago

I don’t care for the term drug mule, why can’t it be a drug unicorn.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a drug mule when you can have a majestic drug unicorn prancing through the underground world like a sparkly harbinger of illegal substances? 🌈🦄 Just imagine the glittery trail it leaves behind as it delivers its magical payloads. Move over, mules, it's all about the fabulous unicorns now!"

absurdity, care, creativity, drug, drug mule, drug unicorn, humor, i, imagination, mule, slang, term, unicorn, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

787 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,949

Funny Quotes Topics

13,921

Funny Quotes Images

10,949

27 minutes ago

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Who can better express pain and grief and misery than a man with a harmonica?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

I just want to be rich enough to stop having to pretend that I’m getting work done.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

I like to people-watch, but I’m an advanced people-watcher. When I spot another people-watcher, I like to watch them watching other people.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Asking people their favorite color and then calling them liars.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I love reaching into my messy bag looking for something and everyone around me hears like glass breaking and bombs going off and a cat meowing from inside there.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Vegan zombies be like: GRAINS!

Spotted on WeChat:

We need a Disney princess who’s a greedy profiteer, so we can cheer for the poison apple.

Making waves on TikTok:

I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

Breaking via Twitch:

We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

Spotted on YouTube:

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Live now on Instagram:

No one tells you that the older you get, the more often you check your weather app.

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