Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old strategy of avoiding politics like your life depends on it! 🙈 Sadly, politics has a way of sneaking up on you like that surprise pop quiz you didn't study for. Brace yourselves, folks! 🤣 #politicsgonnadoyou"

brother, do you, humor, i, irony, mad, politics, sister, statement

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

0

2 months ago

dating, face, humor, reason, relationship, self-deprecating, single
I’ve discovered I have a logic fetish, I just can’t stop coming to conclusions.

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2 months ago

coming, conclusion, conclusions, fetish, humor, i, just, logic, pun, stop, wordplay
1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

0

2 months ago

doing, early, humor, i, jump, motivation, perfect, procrastination, productivity, start, time, woke, work
Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

0

2 months ago

bag, before, burger, casual, casual joke, fast, fast food, five, Five Guys, food, food service, got, guy, guys, humor, job, joke, just, put, service, workplace
Wish I could just go back to eating cookies and not knowing what day it was.

0

2 months ago

back, carefree, cookie, day, eating, fun, i, ignorance, just, knowing, nostalgia, simplicity, wish
Sorry for being so cringey and awkward. It will definitely happen again.

0

2 months ago

again, anxiety, awkward, being, cringey, funny moment, humor, moment, repeat, self-deprecation, social, social anxiety, sorry

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Twitch this month:

Our dog snores so loud, we had to rename him Grandpa.

38 shares on Slack this month:

Hot singles over 40 in your area are curious what you use for joint pain and inflammation.

52 shares on Discord this month:

I’m as single as a one Dollar bill, and I don’t need any change.

85 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If I were a bird, you’d be the first person I’d shit on.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

Work meetings would be a lot more fun if they took place in a giant IKEA ball pit.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve discovered that my visiting family members leave crumbs in the butter. Please keep me in your thoughts during this difficult time.

80 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why is everything 10x better at night? Driving, showering, eating, vibing to music, watching Netflix… phone calls. Like, everything.

49 shares on Instagram this month:

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

99 shares on Pinterest this month:

Rather than work on my issues, I’m counting on my personality getting changed by a falling coconut.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Thursday is really unnecessary. Today could’ve been Friday.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Me drinking green tea: this is going to fix everything.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

If GPT-5 will have ‘Ph.D.-level intelligence’, then GPT-6 will have the intelligence of someone who decided not to get a PhD.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

“Home Alone” is a holiday reminder that peace begins the moment everyone leaves the house.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Making things weird is probably the only thing I’m good at.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Why did they call it an Amazon wishlist and not an ‘Oughttobuyography’.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

“Twister 3” should be told from a cow’s POV.

Going viral on TikTok:

Teens be like, “You know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Some people get it. Most people don’t.

Making waves on WeChat:

Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Emotions? No thanks. I’m trying to cut down.

Freshly posted on X:

My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

Just landed via WeChat:

The worst thing is finding out the “sweet guy” is just a lustful loser.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I really don’t care what happens to me romantically anymore.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Soup is great for when you’re hungry but want to still feel hungry afterward.

Going viral on YouTube:

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“I don’t do politics.” Politics will do you, my brother and sister. Politics will do you like mad.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

I’ve discovered I have a logic fetish, I just can’t stop coming to conclusions.

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

Wish I could just go back to eating cookies and not knowing what day it was.

Sorry for being so cringey and awkward. It will definitely happen again.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨