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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Elevator rides in real life: 30 seconds long. Elevator rides in movies: Two minutes long.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

I’m still waiting for the day my parents will say, “It’s all fake, we are millionaires, this was just to teach you to be humble”.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

There are people on TV who are not ruined by fame, but who ruin fame.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I’m really glad that light only attracts insects. Imagine wild boars would come knocking at your windows all the time.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

I used to think that the older you get, the wiser and more self-confident you become. I now know that you just get tired more quickly.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Rare earth, this rare earth, that. There’s nothing more rare on this earth than affordable housing in a walkable neighborhood.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

As a teen: secretly drinking in the park with friends. As an adult: secretly drinking in the park with squirrels.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Newborns cry because they’re being evicted.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m gonna start sending women unsolicited pizza pics.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,314

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

Just shared via X:

I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I feel so discombobulated when supermarkets switch up the aisles without texting me first.

Going bananas on TikTok:

“You live and you learn!” Bro, I don’t want to do either of those things.

Seen just now on TikTok:

The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

Seen just now on Threads:

Sometimes, before bedtime, I fall asleep on the couch. It’s my little sleep appetizer… my nappetizer.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I wouldn’t walk 500 miles, and then walk 500 more.

Trending via Instagram:

My spirit animal is chasing his own tail.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Y’all aren’t taking beautiful women to jazz clubs anymore, and that’s the problem.

Just landed via TikTok:

No, babe, your 10-minute incremental alarms starting a full hour before you actually get up only make me love you more.

I don’t even get disappointed anymore. I’m just like, “Oh, again? Okay.”

2 months ago

Download image ↓

…

Commentary:
"When life gives you lemons, just sigh and go, 'Why am I not surprised, citrus?' 🍋🤷‍♂️😆"

acceptance, again, attitude, disappointed, disappointment, even, frustration, humor, i, just, oh, okay, perseverance, resilience

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sometimes I worry that avoiding all human interaction isn’t a real hobby.

0

2 months ago

avoidance, avoiding, funny observation, hobby, human, human interaction, i, interaction, introversion, life, observation, real, social, social life, sometimes, worry
The worst thing is finding out the “sweet guy” is just a lustful loser.

0

2 months ago

dating, disappointment, expectation, finding, guy, humor, just, loser, lust, personality, reality, relationship, sweet, sweet guy, thing, worst
Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

0

2 months ago

celebration, drank, friendship, humor, i, just, last, love, man, much, night, party, reach, reach out, say, wanted, wedding
They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

0

2 months ago

finance, goodbye, humor, joke, just, money, sarcasm, say, spending, wit
I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, age, death, die, fall, head, hope, humor, i, irony, old, old age, piano, something, stupid, want, wish
Even if you like anime, you gotta still wear deodorant, man.

0

5 months ago

anime, care, deodorant, even, humor, hygiene, man, personal, personal care, still, wear

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Facebook this month:

I just lost all my tabs. Only now do I understand the tragedy that was the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

87 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t mean to brag, but I can forget what I’m saying while I’m saying it.

85 shares on Discord this month:

It’s scary when an attractive person is attracted to you, omg.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m not saying I’m messy, but if Copperfield knew what I can make disappear, he’d be jealous.

29 shares on Facebook this month:

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

I love being outside, just not when it’s too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy or if there are bugs.

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

91 shares on Slack this month:

Being sleepy all day is just part of who I am.

68 shares on Slack this month:

At the end of the day, the day is going to end.

11 shares on Twitch this month:

Ask a man what a good woman is, and watch him describe a slave.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

If your family starts fighting on Thanksgiving, go live.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

I have some cake and now I’m eating it too. Not seeing the problem here.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Just saw someone my age running and she wasn’t chasing an ice-cream truck.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Jeez. It’s like the people in this nursing home have never heard techno before.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Laugh all you want. My Encyclopedia Britannica set will never require WiFi.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

I asked myself if I was the problem and we said no.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

Going viral on Discord:

Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.

Shared recently on Discord:

The future is buffering.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Old age comes at a bad time. Once you finally know everything, you start to forget everything you know.

Making waves on Threads:

I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

Shared recently on X:

They should make statues of regular people, like you’re walking through the park and there’s a statue of your friend Jeff.

Going viral on Slack:

I’m not superstitious because it brings bad luck.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

Trending via Twitch:

Sorry I missed your call. I saw that you were calling and immediately threw my phone into an active volcano.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t even get disappointed anymore. I’m just like, “Oh, again? Okay.”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sometimes I worry that avoiding all human interaction isn’t a real hobby.

The worst thing is finding out the “sweet guy” is just a lustful loser.

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

Even if you like anime, you gotta still wear deodorant, man.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨