Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Sorry, I wasn’t really listening but that’s awesome, unless it isn’t of course.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Only bots from Nigeria are allowed to call me dear.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

You know you’re getting old when you have to watch shows that are in English with subtitles.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

I stay away from beef-flavored cat food. At no point could Sylvia realistically bring down a cow, and I don’t need that kind of ego in the house.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

It-is-what-it-is-ing my way through the collapse of civilization.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

My favorite thing about summer is opening a window for 30 seconds so an insect that hasn’t been identified by science yet can fly into your home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

235 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,504

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,504

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,395

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

Zen and the Art of Empty Pockets.

Breaking via Slack:

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Having to pee really puts things into perspective. Like, OK, none of this matters.

Going viral on Discord:

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

Freshly posted on X:

Want to know what someone is really like? Play Monopoly with them.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?

Trending via Twitch:

“Have you asked Chat GPT?” Have you lost your mind?

Spotted on Threads:

Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I actually love talking to strangers, they will unknowingly say some shit that shifts your perspective, and you never see them again.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your clothes are still in the washing machine.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess those clothes are taking a longer vacation in the washer than I did this year! 🧺⏳😅

clothes, hear, i, know, laundry, machine, needs, procrastination, reminder, still, washing, washing machine

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

0

2 months ago

advice, avoid, avoid fool, avoid tool, being, cool, fool, graduation, humor, lesson, life, life lesson, slang, stay, stay cool, tool, wisdom
I’d enjoy summer a lot more if someone came by hourly and misted me like produce.

0

2 months ago

came, enjoy, heat, humor, ID, lot, me, mist, produce, refreshment, someone, summer
One year older today, and still no closer to growing up.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, age, birthday, growing, growing up, humor, life, older, reflection, still, today, year
The fact that someone looked straight at a purple onion and named it red onion really bothers me.

0

4 months ago

color, fact, food, humor, me, naming, observation, onion, purple, purple onion, red, red onion, someone, straight
I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

0

2 months ago

assistance, butler, chef, domestic, domestic help, help, humor, i, luxury, maid, need, professional, professional help, should, think
Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

0

2 months ago

boyfriend, boyfriend mode, girls, humor, insta, Instagram, jealousy, liking, liking pictures, media, mode, pictures, relationship, robot, set, sex, sex robot, social, social media, technology

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Threads this month:

“Don’t take this the wrong way!” Translation: Prepare for insult.

32 shares on Reddit this month:

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

48 shares on Slack this month:

Instead of writing LOL, I’m going to start writing SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It’s more accurate.

37 shares on WeChat this month:

I didn’t believe in karma until I was scheduled to work at 6am on a holiday.

99 shares on Messenger this month:

Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.

69 shares on Threads this month:

Beginning my getting out of bed journey this morning.

74 shares on TikTok this month:

Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

62 shares on Instagram this month:

Have you ever “accidentally” eaten a family sized bag of chips?

60 shares on Slack this month:

Can I get back all those naps I refused to take as a kid? I could really use them now.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s. “I’m too old for this shit” is now your excuse and explanation for everything.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Bad news. Right now is as young as you’re going to be.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Worst thing about cutting off all your hair is you go to work and everyone treats you like Today’s Special Boy.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Watching a movie and using a laser pointer to indicate where my fellow viewers should be looking for an optimal viewing experience.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

I love how you get on Twitter, and all your thoughts are already in someone else’s tweet.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

I refuse to be bound by the social construct called “the calendar.” Merry Christmas, everyone.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Home is where you’ve left the shopping list.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Absolutely destroyed my bed last night… I cuddled those covers so hard.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

Making waves on Instagram:

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Once you are able to find humor in any situation, you’ve either reached enlightenment or you’re just a little unhinged.

Shared recently on Telegram:

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

Just shared via Discord:

The difference between a songbird and a hummingbird is that one of them knows the lyrics.

Seen just now on Messenger:

There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done

Just shared via Twitch:

Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.

Trending via Twitch:

Seaweed is great for when you want to eat pure salt but wish it had the texture of slime.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your clothes are still in the washing machine.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

I’d enjoy summer a lot more if someone came by hourly and misted me like produce.

One year older today, and still no closer to growing up.

The fact that someone looked straight at a purple onion and named it red onion really bothers me.

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨