Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • “It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.
  • No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.
  • If you find my upper lip mole sexy, wait till you see the dark spot on my MRI.
  • You can have glossy lips or you can have a cat. You can’t have both.
  • My body is like my phone battery. Usually drained by 4pm.
  • Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.