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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

My mouth moves faster than my survival instincts.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Adult friendships are like, “hey girl, let’s keep rescheduling to hangout until one of us dies.”

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

If you love someone be brave enough to tell them. Otherwise be brave enough to watch them dating someone else.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

When I look at the world, I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

In an alternate universe, sex dreams of me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

813 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,975

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,975

3 minutes ago

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Apologies about the delay to your flight. We’re just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a ‘fuselage’ takes a little time.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Do you also have teenagers whose styling motto is: freeze to death for coolness?

Reported on LinkedIn:

Sometimes I say something so embarrassing I even impress myself.

Spotted on Discord:

If you relate to me, get some help!

Spotted on Slack:

I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Be yourself cause no one wants to be like you!

Just landed via LinkedIn:

You want me to sit in the back seat? The thing that killed JFK?

Live now on TikTok:

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

Seen just now on Discord:

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

I feel like we’re all just angry and horny.

6 months ago

I feel like we’re all just angry and horny.

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Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle of the human condition: a delicate balance between simmering rage and raging hormones 🤷‍♂️🔥💔 Who knew that our evolutionary journey would lead us to this delightful intersection of emotions? 😂 #AngryAndHorny"

angry, emotions, feel, feelings, frustration, horny, humor, i, just, relationships

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

813 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,975

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,975

3 minutes ago

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

The crematorium is my last hope for a hot body.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you won’t let go of.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Some people are like ads, just skip.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

You can tell it’s laundry day because I’m wearing flippers and a Viking helmet.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

I have poor night vision so I upgraded to LED headlights because it’s important to me to ensure nobody else can see either.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

Going viral on WeChat:

Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

Trending via YouTube:

I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

Trending via Snapchat:

I would love to be normal, but unfortunately, I was raised by the internet and a microwave.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Don’t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

Seen just now on YouTube:

My teen would like you to know I ruined her life when I did her laundry today.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

The only fantasy I have in the bedroom these days is getting 8 hours of sleep.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Throwing a spear at your enemy is a bad gamble. If you miss, you have no spear now and he’s just fine. He’s better than fine; now he has a spear.

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