Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Oh, the betrayal of diets! They promise so much, but when it comes to giving back, they ghost you like a bad date. Unfollowing seems like the only reasonable response – who needs that kind of one-sided relationship anyway?"

back, diet, fitness, follow, humor, irony, loss, media, social, social media, unfollow, weight, weight loss

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

0

2 months ago

animal, blub, brain, emotion, feeling, feelings, heart, humor, i, jellyfish, just, pain, simplicity, wish
I need to be more disciplined and stop procrastinating, starting tomorrow.

0

2 months ago

discipline, humor, i, motivation, need, procrastinate, procrastination, self-control, starting, stop, tomorrow
Imagine hating me and I’m just here trying to push a door that says pull.

0

2 months ago

door, hate, here, humor, imagine, irony, just, me, misunderstanding, pull, push, struggle, trying
I wonder if the sun also takes pictures of humanity going down?

0

2 months ago

going, going down, humanity, humor, i, observation, photography, pictures, sun, wonder
It’s hard dating someone who has been single for a long time. Any slight inconvenience, and they’ll crawl back into their peaceful abode. No stress.

0

2 months ago

back, crawl, dating, habit, hard, inconvenience, peace, peaceful, relationship, retreat, single, someone, stress, stress-free, time
I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

0

2 months ago

camera, chaos, frame, humor, humor quote, i, joke, life, mess, only, together

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Slack this month:

During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

94 shares on Reddit this month:

I see stand-up comedy as a stepping stone to television. A few more paid gigs and I’ll be able to afford a television.

61 shares on WeChat this month:

You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.

23 shares on TikTok this month:

Sane is boring.

40 shares on X this month:

I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

69 shares on Discord this month:

I love cute tiny purses, but I’m sad to say I can never be a cute tiny purse girl. I need to haul my hoard of objects everywhere I go, because what if….

82 shares on Telegram this month:

Please pray for my husband, he’s struggling to find me.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

34 shares on Instagram this month:

Sometimes I sneeze so loud and hard I think I’m a dad.

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Wanna come over and see my mis-matched sock collection?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Your fingers have fingertips, but your toes don’t have toetips. Yet, you can tiptoe but not tipfinger.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

A mustache is just mouth bangs.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

I’m no expert, but I don’t think the United Kingdom is very united.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style, because all dogs go to heaven. Follow me for more biblical loopholes.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

A flat stomach is one of the best accessories.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Fruit and vegetables expire faster when you’re the one paying for them.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

WFH is so great until you realize you’ve walked about 17 steps all day.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

The Christmas tree I’ve had up all year makes a lot more sense now.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Social media has dragged humans back into Plato’s cave, and chained them there.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

If your store’s bowl of water is just for pets, you should really put up a sign.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

Going bananas on Facebook:

If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

They should release the Epstein list right before the Oscars.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Capri Sun tastes as if scientists had bet that they could make fruit juice without fruit.

Just landed via Facebook:

These cannot be the same knees that used to get low in heels at the club.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I don’t get how alcohol turns y’all evil. I just start giggling and get slutty.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I hope you can hear me thinking about you.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Trust my gut? The thing that makes weird gurgling noises immediately when a work meeting goes quiet.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

I need to be more disciplined and stop procrastinating, starting tomorrow.

Imagine hating me and I’m just here trying to push a door that says pull.

I wonder if the sun also takes pictures of humanity going down?

It’s hard dating someone who has been single for a long time. Any slight inconvenience, and they’ll crawl back into their peaceful abode. No stress.

I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨