I had 99 problems but getting divorced solved 98 of them.

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

20 shares on Telegram this month:

They say time is the solution to every problem. I’ve been waiting for five hours already and the room is still messy.

91 shares on Messenger this month:

Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

Hide and seek, except it’s my husband searching for where he last put his pants.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

If you are influenced by influencers, you’re beyond retarded.

78 shares on WeChat this month:

My guardian angel is probably preoccupied with sports betting apps and generative AI, that’s why she’s letting all these bad things happen to me.

58 shares on TikTok this month:

Japanese cats answering the phone be like, “Meowshi meowshi.”

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I am just a man, a man who told a woman to calm down, so I guess this is goodbye.

15 shares on Discord this month:

My therapist said I should face my fears. So I turned my phone back on.

20 shares on Instagram this month:

Revenge has no expiry date. I will deal with you when I’m ready.