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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Sorry to any bands who see me yawn during their show. It’s not you, it’s just past 10pm.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

As soon as the sun comes back out, I want a beer. It’s science.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

They should invent a situationship that turns into something beautiful.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Unfortunately, I am literally obsessed with the woman I am when I get stuff done, so I’m just going to keep doing that.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

When I said you had a “serial killer face” I had meant it as a compliment. Like, you look like you are very ambitious is what I meant.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m a comedian. My pronouns are ha/ha.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

You try to fart in the toilet in the morning without waking the whole house and thanks to the brilliant acoustics of the toilet bowl, the horn of Gondor sounds.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

‘I love reading!’ says the woman who loves owning books.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

Female friendship is all about taking turns being insane. First, one of you is crazy, and the other has to counterbalance by being normal. Then, thirty minutes later, you get to trade.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

You can always tell when a man is dating someone new. Why you going to the aquarium and the museum?

Shared recently on Twitch:

Just broke a clothes hanger and now have seven years of bad outfits.

Making waves on YouTube:

Gravity called. It’s sick of holding me up.

Spotted on Reddit:

The Titanic is a great lesson of why “just the tip” can get you into a whole lot of trouble.

Going viral on Threads:

Every Jurassic Park movie should end with an insurance adjuster getting a phone call and immediately throwing up.

Trending via Messenger:

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

Just shared via Slack:

Going out on Friday night will always be better than going out on a Saturday night.

Going viral on Twitch:

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs commas when you've got attitude and sass like that? 💁‍♀️ Breathing is overrated anyways, just wing it like the grown adult you are! 😂 #NoCommasNoProblem"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Telegram this month:

Men playing hard to get when they’re already hard to want, is so funny to me.

16 shares on X this month:

There’s nothing better than knowing that you don’t have to set an alarm clock for the next day.

36 shares on TikTok this month:

A political guy who supports communism because he hates applying for jobs and just wants to be assigned somewhere.

21 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

52 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

Idiocracy wasn’t supposed to be a documentary.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

Holding back your sarcastic replies takes a lot of inner strength.

25 shares on YouTube this month:

Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

94 shares on Twitch this month:

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

61 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m willing to do anything for a job except write a cover letter.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a relationship that doesn’t turn into the worst experience of my entire life.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The medicine for headache goes to the stomach to do what, exactly?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Are they honking at me because I’m cute or because I can’t drive.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I worry that avoiding all human interaction isn’t a real hobby.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My dogs have learned that whenever they hear the f-word in the kitchen, there’s now food on the floor.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember when we used to jump out of the swings? Those knees were fresh, fresh out the box.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Mocktails are awesome because they ask the question ‘how much could juice cost?’

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,453

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

When I say I love the ocean, I mean I love the surface. Whatever goes on beneath has my respect, but it’s none of my business.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

I used to be a night owl, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more of a person who doesn’t function at any time.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Relationship status: the black mold in my shower thinks I’m cute.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

If you are influenced by influencers, you’re beyond retarded.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Is ChatGPT my father-in-law because it keeps making stuff up and passing it off as fact?

Breaking via Snapchat:

Reoccurring dreams be like: ‘I dunno, here’s a rerun’

Freshly posted on X:

Normalize mouthing the lyrics to the song in your headphones in public.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I only drink when I people.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I have one of those metal briefcases handcuffed to my wrist, and inside… my grandmother’s meatloaf recipe.

Just shared via Instagram:

If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

If I got a Dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.

Just landed via Discord:

You don’t get to comment on the world until you’ve made your bed.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Santa doesn’t check the naughty list anymore, he just checks social media.

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