Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Standing at the checkout line is like being in a reverse popularity contest. 😂🛒 Those in front are the contenders, while the real winners are quietly waiting at the back! 🥇 #BackOfTheLineForTheWin"

checkout, checkout line, cool, everyone, front, frustration, hate, humor, i, line, me, shopping

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

0

2 months ago

apart, fall, fall apart, humor, irony, life, perspective, reality, self-awareness, together
My style isn’t even my real style yet. Just wait till my budget matches my vision.

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2 months ago

aspiration, budget, even, fashion, humor, just, money, personal, personal style, real, style, vision, wait
Today, I want to talk about underperforming continents. Antarctica, explain yourself.

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2 months ago

Antarctica, continents, critique, explain, explanation, humor, i, talk, today, underperformance, want, yourself
My goal weight is getting a magician to saw me in half.

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2 months ago

fitness, getting, goal, goal weight, half, humor, illusion, magician, me, saw, trick, weight
Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

0

2 months ago

habit, humor, i, irony, lifestyle, much, paper, paper towel, self-deprecation, towel, unfortunately, wealth, woman
I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

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2 months ago

avocado, baby, childbirth, clumsiness, comfort, comfortable, delivery, dropping, even, humor, i, never, pit, struggle

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on TikTok this month:

The worst thing about being an adult is that you have to be one every single day.

78 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

42 shares on Reddit this month:

I love dogs with human names because you get to say things like Bob pooped on the rug again.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

“November Rain” is just 9 minutes of me realizing I’m too dramatic to date someone with healthy coping skills.

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

13 shares on Threads this month:

Forgetting how to clean the dishes and shooting them with a gun.

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.

88 shares on Reddit this month:

You know when you tap a video to see how long it’s got left? I wish you could do that to people while they’re talking.

11 shares on Threads this month:

Bisexual just means that I wear perfume with my men’s deodorant.

54 shares on Reddit this month:

Texting is so boring. Just show up to my door with roses.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Monsters can’t hide under my bed. That’s where my cats have their fight club.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

If you innocently act like you don’t know, people will explain dirty words to you and it’s hilarious.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

No better feeling than getting home and realizing you forgot the one thing you went out for.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

A credit card is kind of like a gift card to every store.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

I’ve worn oversized T-shirts so much that I suffocate if I wear one that actually fits.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

They won’t teach you this in school, but life is all about going to weird little diners.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

Just landed via TikTok:

Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

Trending via TikTok:

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

Going bananas on TikTok:

If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on, I’d be like, why am I always getting all this money?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Marriage! Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

Going bananas on Threads:

Who are these people that buy unsalted butter on purpose?

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Whenever I’m with real yappers, I realize I might actually be a listener.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Everyone’s gangsta until they spot a double rainbow in the sky.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I hate everyone in front of me at this checkout line, everyone behind me is cool.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

My style isn’t even my real style yet. Just wait till my budget matches my vision.

Today, I want to talk about underperforming continents. Antarctica, explain yourself.

My goal weight is getting a magician to saw me in half.

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨