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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Libraries were a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn’t be allowed to talk.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Coke Zero sounds like a government pledge to eliminate fizzy drinks by 2030.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Decorated the house across the street so I can look out the window and enjoy my handiwork.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Karma not moving fast enough for me. I would hate to handle it myself, Lord.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Nowadays, people no longer look for a needle in a haystack, but for errors in a spreadsheet.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2269 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,431

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,431

26 minutes ago

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but I sort of feel more like an avocado.

Seen just now on Slack:

I’m not climbing a hill if I’m dying. That sounds terrible. I’ll die on this chair. Drinking orange Fanta.

Seen just now on WeChat:

My ideal workday would be from 9:00 AM to 9:07 AM

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I’m not lazy, I’m an inactivist.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Saying “essentially” is a more sophisticated way of saying “basically.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

On a scale of quack to quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack, what do you think of my duck-based numbering system?

Spotted on Slack:

I put my pants on just like everybody else: when the police tell me to.

Just shared via Discord:

You’re in her DMs, she’s in my bed whining that it’s too cold. Can you come get her?

Going viral on Facebook:

The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

Shared recently on TikTok:

My new pajamas have no pockets. I don’t want to hear your problems.

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and all I find is ingredients.

4 months ago

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and all I find is ingredients.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic kitchen dilemma: a pantry full of ingredients and not a ready-made meal in sight. It's like the cosmic joke of adulting – you have the power to create a feast, but all you really want is a snack that magically appears at your command. Bon appétit, or should I say, bon ingredient hunting!"

cooking, craving, disappointment, food, hate, hunger, ingredient, kitchen, snack

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2269 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,431

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,431

26 minutes ago

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

“This was on sale!” is why I’m always broke.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

I’m not religious but I know there’s a hell because Monopoly exists.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

If you give a man a fish, that fish is basically gone. Way to lose your fish.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Outside letting mosquitoes get some of this.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

Spotted on Slack:

I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Love is in the air fryer.

Just shared via Threads:

Riding a bike is an insane concept. You just sit and run at the same time.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I like my bed more than I like most people.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

It’s Monday, but at what cost?

Freshly posted on X:

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Parents be like, “I gave you everything I had,” and by everything, they meant the collector’s edition boxed set of mental illness.

Going viral on Slack:

Perhaps we should have further developed natural intelligence before venturing into artificial intelligence.

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