Trending Funny Quotes šŸ‘‡

  • There is a giant spider on my dash so I’m going to have to buy a new car now.
  • Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?
  • And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.
  • He who laughs last didn’t get it.
  • Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?
  • Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.