“I have a date with destiny.” Yeah well, I’m in a long-term relationship with the consequences of my actions.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI send 5 emails a day and check their fantasy football line-ups on and off for 8 hours.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Some people are so judgmental, I can tell by just looking at them.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

We all just kind of accept it as normal that we have a meat tentacle living inside of our mouth.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Even when I look up the slang of today’s kids, I still have no idea what it means.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

I hate when people ask me, “What did you do today?” Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don’t know.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Unknown numbers will call me, then expect me to talk first. Welcome to the breathing competition.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

How many cups of coffee is OK to have every day? Is it eight? I’m pretty sure it’s eight.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.