Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Sleep well, middle finger—you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Probably the worst thing about the death of print media is the devastating effect it’s having on the producers of traditional ransom notes.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

If I was lying down and someone came up and gave me tons of kisses and smooshed my face, I’d love it. I don’t know what my cat’s problem is.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Revenge is a dish best served by cutting a sandwich horizontally instead of diagonally.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Inventor of pink lemonade: yes, exactly the same, but cute and for the girls.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Sometimes being a woman is just trying to figure out if you’re hormonally sad, seasonally sad, or genuinely falling apart.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

It’s just a matter of time until they add “syndrome” after my name.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,469

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

I just looked over at my new shoes and the box says “vegan”. I’ve never had to feed my other shoes before.

Going bananas on Instagram:

The Slow and the Furious: me navigating a shopping cart through a grocery store filled with morons.

Spotted on Discord:

I hate when people set alarms and it wakes up everybody except for them.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Where do you see yourself five beers from now? What’s your five-beer plan?

Live now on Reddit:

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

Live now on Discord:

So grateful for pillows. My head works hard, it deserves its own bed.

Live now on Telegram:

Ah yes, my abandonment issues due to all the abandonment.

Trending via YouTube:

Traumatized people will navigate emergency situations with calm surety but then have an anxiety attack in a grocery store.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

I haven’t tried Yoga, but I bent over to pick up my keys off the floor, so I’m sure I wouldn’t like Yoga.

Playful quote about avoiding yoga after bending to pick up keys, humorous and witty.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs Yoga when you've mastered the art of advanced key retrieval yoga pose? 💁‍♂️🔑 Maybe Yoga just needs to up its game to impress you! 😄"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Reddit this month:

I bet she doesn’t even laugh at your dumb jokes the fake way I did.

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m so jealous of people who know how to shut up. I shut up, and subtitles come out my face.

35 shares on X this month:

When I moved into my new igloo, my friends threw me a surprise housewarming party. Now I’m homeless.

77 shares on WeChat this month:

There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

My kids and I have this bit where I say something and they ignore me.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

Stop dating if you have no car.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

35 shares on Slack this month:

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.

12 shares on Telegram this month:

Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.

19 shares on Instagram this month:

I be telling people, “I respect your decision,” and I really don’t. The decision is always something stupid, and I just don’t want to engage any further.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t have a welcome mat at my front door because I’m not a liar.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Told someone I’m as “single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito” and they blocked me immediately.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If you want to hang out with me, all you have to do is ask, and I’ll say no.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Take one positive friend and one negative friend with you on your next road trip. That way when your battery dies, you can hook cables to them and start your car.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I just tried on my summer wardrobe. The only thing I managed to get into was a state of panic.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,747

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Turns out “V for Vendetta” is not an educational movie and it won’t teach your kids the alphabet.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

One of the main reasons to drink tea is because you can say, ‘Let me put the kettle on,’ and stuff like that.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I glance over at my boyfriend, and he’s just looking at Google Maps, scrolling around.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Being smart is a curse. You see the game, the lies, the patterns, but you still gotta play dumb to survive.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I wish religion made people nicer to each other.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Clueless but committed – that’s my vibe.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Parents saying “I know my child” will forever be the funniest joke.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

Shared recently on Threads:

I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

Making waves on Instagram:

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I love being outside, just not when it’s too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy or if there are bugs.

Just landed via Slack:

My recliner and I go way back.

Just shared via Reddit:

I’m ready to try another planet.

Trending via Snapchat:

There will always be miserable people inviting you to their misery.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

Breaking via TikTok:

Cleaning out your camera roll is like the biggest chore ever.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

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