Trendy Funny Quotes

  • My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.
  • Are you my pinky toe, because I will bang you on all my furniture.
  • For this Halloween I’ve trained my eyebrows to leap off my face and destroy those who’ve angered me.
  • I am not someone you have to entertain if you invite me, because I will have canceled.
  • My favorite pirate song is “Aye of the Tiger”
  • I want to be rich enough where I’m not offended by the price of beef jerky.