Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Reminder that you need to be scrolling all day to monitor the situation.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

People always tell me I’d be “late to my own funeral” like it’s a bad thing. They’d be lucky if I even showed up to that depressing shit.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

I fondly remember my days as a younger man when I didn’t care what the weather was going to do.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Being a writer means knowing exactly how your story ends, and having absolutely no idea how to get there.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

As a retiree, I have two pairs of pajamas. Bedtime and daytime. Sometimes I get them confused.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,489

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Discord:

It’s scary when an attractive person is attracted to you, omg.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

Trending via Facebook:

Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

Just shared via Slack:

I just love the lack of privacy in the pharmacy line. Just standing there shouting out my name, date of birth, and exactly what is wrong with me for the world to hear.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I want a girlfriend so she can make me do shit like pottery, and I act like I don’t want to go.

Making waves on Discord:

I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?

Shared recently on Twitch:

The best piece of dating advice I’ve ever received is “If they like you, you’ll know. If they don’t, you’ll be confused.” Honestly, it’s all you need to know.

Live now on Messenger:

“I’m not falling for that again,” I say, as I’m about to fall for whatever that is again.

Shared recently on Threads:

If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Can’t believe we stayed up and screamed “Happy New Year” for this shit.

I held the door for an old person today and he was like, “didn’t we go to high school together” and we did.

3 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Playful text about surprising high school reunion humor, featuring a funny door-holding moment.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Either they have an impeccable memory or you haven't changed much since high school! 🚪🧓🏫 #SmallWorld"

door, encounter, funny encounter, high, high school, i, memory, nostalgia, old, old person, person, school, surprise, today, together

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Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

67 shares on Discord this month:

Mr. Mixed Signals decided he likes me today.

21 shares on Telegram this month:

Fruit and vegetables expire faster when you’re the one paying for them.

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The most unrealistic part of Christmas movies isn’t the existence of Santa… it’s that all these people have, like, a month off work with no interruptions.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper “Nobody cares!”

32 shares on X this month:

I hate how what would have been a parody is now reality.

16 shares on Messenger this month:

You ever look at yourself on the self-checkout camera and think, “wow, I better write my will.”

10 shares on Twitch this month:

I hope the aliens aren’t good at basketball. My chances of making it into the NBA are already slim.

59 shares on TikTok this month:

Finally, we’re living through precedented times.

82 shares on Messenger this month:

Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

My most boomer belief is that you can often get a malfunctioning appliance to work again by slapping it.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Sure sex is cool, but have you ever farted away a stomachache?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

People with air fryers really love to tell you what they air fry.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

The retirement age needs to be lowered to 40, I’ve had enough.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Have you ever “accidentally” eaten a family sized bag of chips?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

The holidays may be over by my work ethic is still out of the office.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my energy?

Just shared via Facebook:

I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

Live now on Reddit:

In the event of a water landing, place the life jacket over your head and swipe your credit card to inflate.

Just shared via Messenger:

You were there at the beginning of the Internet if you’ve heard the following: “Get off the web, I need to make a call!”

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

Just shared via X:

Pronouncing hyperbole like guacamole.

Breaking via Messenger:

Extroverts love our energy. That’s why they suck it out of us.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Eating spaghetti to forgetti my regretti.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I held the door for an old person today and he was like, “didn’t we go to high school together” and we did.

Why do women complain about size but moan when fingered?

Keep moving, lady, I don’t have room for you in my delusions right now.

I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink, have music at a normal volume, and there are no people, and it’s my house.

If A-B-C-D didn’t take their sweet time in the alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to sprint every time.

Note: Press the button on the elevator as often as possible to activate the secret express function and speed up the thing.

I have to pee. Story of my life.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I held the door for an old person today and he was like, “didn’t we go to high school together” and we did.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Why do women complain about size but moan when fingered?

Keep moving, lady, I don’t have room for you in my delusions right now.

I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink, have music at a normal volume, and there are no people, and it’s my house.

If A-B-C-D didn’t take their sweet time in the alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to sprint every time.

Note: Press the button on the elevator as often as possible to activate the secret express function and speed up the thing.

I have to pee. Story of my life.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨