I hurt my bottom after shaking it at the office party. It was a twerk-place injury.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Hot singles over 40 in your area are curious what you use for joint pain and inflammation.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Roses are red. Daisies are white. I’m in a grumpy mood. My underwear is too tight.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

“I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.

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It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

I need a massage for my brain.

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We’ve had far more storms since we started naming them. We’re giving them the attention they crave. Just call it needy wind.

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I never forget to eat, but I do eat to forget.