Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Hike in groups. Bears like to have options.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

One of the voices in my head brought up an excellent point, so obviously he had to go.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Seems like the ‘how to use a fire extinguisher’ video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30-second ad before it.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Throwing someone under the bus sounds hard, let’s just sell ’em down the river and call it a day.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Not pretty enough for Instagram, not funny enough for Twitter. Welcome to WhatsApp status.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Why does the phone ring longer when you’re ignoring the call?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Might quit my job to focus on summer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,390

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I need to have a ginger ale about this.

Trending via Telegram:

My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

Just shared via Facebook:

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

Just shared via Reddit:

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Sure I collect antiques, if you count the late-century spices in my pantry.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Everyone who got my kids board games for Christmas, when are you coming back to play with them?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Kids are like pancakes. The first one is always a bit strange.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

I like deadlines. They make me functional.

22 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Deadlines: turning procrastination into panic-powered productivity! ⏰💪😅

deadline, deadlines, functional, functionality, humor, i, me, motivation, procrastination, productivity

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I finally get why people love cauliflower.

0

2 months ago

believe, cauliflower, food, i, love, people, realization, say, surprise, taste, vegetable, why
Hulk Hogan’s gone, so I’ll be ripping shirts and screaming “BROTHERRR!” at strangers in his honor.

0

5 months ago

brother, gone, hogan, honor, Hulk, Hulk Hogan, humor, ripping, screaming, shirt, shirt ripping, shirts, stranger, strangers, tribute, wrestling
If oats can be milk, you can be whatever you want.

0

2 months ago

humor, milk, motivation, oats, self-expression, want, whatever
Having a sore throat as a giraffe must really suck.

0

2 months ago

animal, giraffe, having, humor, neck, pain, sore, sore throat, suck, throat
This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

0

2 months ago

addiction, caffeine, coffee, coffee addiction, coffee joke, holy, holy water, humor, i, joke, morning, morning routine, need, routine, think, water, working
Play the Grindr notification noise at Christmas dinner to see which conservative relatives panickedly check their phone ringer.

0

1 month ago

check, Christmas, Christmas dinner, conservative, conservative relative, dinner, experiment, family, family gathering, gathering, Grindr, humor, noise, notification, notification noise, phone, phone ringer, play, prank, relative, ringer, social, social experiment

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I had no social life in high school. Even my imaginary best friend had a date for the prom.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m at the stage in life where I stay out of arguments. Even if you say 1+1=5, you’re right. Have fun.

77 shares on Instagram this month:

If I were a higher power, and people were doing evil in my name, I’d probably stop it … but that’s just me.

13 shares on Slack this month:

My New Year’s resolution is to be less presumptuous and rude to others. I’ll bet yours is to lose weight, isn’t it?

95 shares on Slack this month:

If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.

52 shares on Slack this month:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

74 shares on TikTok this month:

It feels like a million o’clock right now.

93 shares on Messenger this month:

How about hold me as tight as you’re holding onto that grudge?

81 shares on Twitch this month:

Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?

43 shares on YouTube this month:

Better to be an overthinker than an overdrinker.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Some people are so judgmental, I can tell by just looking at them.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

My mind is like someone dumped the entire junk drawer on a trampoline.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Sorry for what I said when I was drunk. I meant every word.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

I’m looking forward to tomorrow. It’ll be much like today, but different enough to confuse me.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

My favorite childhood memory is having energy.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Forget sexy talk. I want breakfast talk. Describe those waffles to me nice and slow.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

On the internet it’s super easy to take credit for stuff you had nothing to do with. That’s why I invented it.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

So stupid how New York is actually as cool as everyone says.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Gang members are so lucky to have something to do with their hands in photos.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

McDonald’s is finally promoting good health by making their food unaffordable.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

My bathroom mirror after a long party weekend: “Girl, those vitamins can’t help you now.”

Going bananas on Slack:

Every day is a D-Day, if you’re a stutterer.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

Seen just now on Telegram:

If you go by “Toni,” I always think your full name is Rigatoni.

Going viral on Messenger:

Picking up the hem of my baggy pants to walk up the stairs like it’s a ballgown.

Breaking via YouTube:

Welcome to your 40s, you now don’t understand a single word anyone under 25 is saying.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

The Christmas tree I’ve had up all year makes a lot more sense now.

Just shared via Discord:

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I like deadlines. They make me functional.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I finally get why people love cauliflower.

Hulk Hogan’s gone, so I’ll be ripping shirts and screaming “BROTHERRR!” at strangers in his honor.

If oats can be milk, you can be whatever you want.

Having a sore throat as a giraffe must really suck.

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

Play the Grindr notification noise at Christmas dinner to see which conservative relatives panickedly check their phone ringer.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨