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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

It’s important to listen to both sides of the debate because you need to hear both the reality of the situation and also the dumbest thing anyone’s ever said.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Being able to notice that a celebrity unfollowed another celebrity is some seriously jobless behaviour.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

The real morning people are the ones that wake up to call radio stations.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

When your stomach is really mad at you, and you’re not sure which one of your 13 unhealthy lifestyle choices is causing it.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

They should invent a situationship that turns into something beautiful.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Have you ever just restarted the dryer because you didn’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Prime numbers are so cunty. Like okay, diva — only divisible by yourself?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

People be like “I love your energy” – then drain it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,706

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Twitter is the only place you argue with CEOs and heads of states while sleeping in the kitchen.

Going viral on X:

If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Welcome to your 40s: it’s Saturday night so you know what that means, absolutely nothing, go to bed.

Just landed via Slack:

What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?

Shared recently on TikTok:

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

Live now on TikTok:

I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Just got some minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

Just shared via Facebook:

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

Spotted on TikTok:

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

I love how a film can be life-changing for one person and boring for another.

I love how a film can be life-changing for one person and boring for another.
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Commentary:
One person’s cinematic masterpiece is another person's perfect nap opportunity 🎬😴

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,951

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I went from dancing with myself in the 80s to talking to myself now.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Look away from your laptop for 1 second, and MS Teams will say you left the country.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Baby for sale. Refuses to wear shoes.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Dogs are like chicken nuggets; every time I see one, I want it.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

They can steal your recipe, but the sauce won’t taste the same.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Every app is a dating app if you are creepy enough.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

“You never reply to messages.” I am just one person, okay? I am understaffed.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

If you play guitar in a band, always make sure to look like it hurts to play.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”

Just landed via Pinterest:

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

Trending via Reddit:

Aliens probably lock their doors when they fly past Earth.

Making waves on X:

Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

Just landed via Threads:

Please pray for my daughter, who had to empty the dishwasher when she “just did this yesterday and she’s tired.”

Shared recently on Instagram:

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

Trending via Telegram:

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

Broadcasted on Discord:

The share button on Reddit should be called Spreddit.

Trending via Reddit:

My favorite thing to do at the gym is stay home and eat a piece of cake.

Just landed via YouTube:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

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