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Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

80 years ago we would have all been institutionalized and I think that’s beautiful.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

I swear every time I look up from my phone, it’s a different holiday.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Don’t believe in yourself, you can’t do it.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

“Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to smart people with a refined sense of beauty.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

The perfect job for me would be the person staining things for detergent commercials.

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15,753

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17,766

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Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

“Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

One of the best examples of someone posing a question that they already know the answer to is the WeightWatchers website asking me if I accept cookies.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI send 5 emails a day and check their fantasy football line-ups on and off for 8 hours.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Friends with no kids are like: Want to go to New Zealand this Friday?

Just landed via X:

You’re not entertaining, you are exittaining.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Having leftover pizza for breakfast is an actual blessing.

Just shared via Discord:

Went for a run this morning. That bee was huge!

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I lost my appetite for doing work. If you find it, you can keep it.

Live now on Twitch:

I’m only here while I wait for that Nigerian prince to follow through on his end of the bargain.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

I love how a film can be life-changing for one person and boring for another.

1 day ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about differing movie experiences, playful and humorous in tone.

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One person’s cinematic masterpiece is another person's perfect nap opportunity 🎬😴

another, boring, entertainment, experience, film, i, life changing, love, person, personal, personal experience, perspective

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88 shares on Reddit this month:

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

24 shares on Slack this month:

Believing that pharmaceutical companies want to heal you is like believing a casino wants you to win.

96 shares on Discord this month:

I just feel like we shouldn’t have a new year until we get this one right.

32 shares on Telegram this month:

You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.

59 shares on Facebook this month:

The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

I’ve taken a long, hard look at myself. I won’t be doing that again.

70 shares on Facebook this month:

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

76 shares on Telegram this month:

Welcome to your 40’s: you get excited about avocados now.

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Why sleep when you can stay up all night overthinking?

10 shares on Instagram this month:

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

That moment when you realize “yeah, this person is never gonna hear from me again” is so crazy.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

I actually think it’s quite beautiful that you have to be the one to save yourself.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Elections is like waiting for the results of a biopsy, except half your family hopes it’s cancer.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

I’m just saying, no dog has ever ghosted me.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

You should be able to call out of work if your partner is so cozy and warm in the morning.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Every app is a dating app if you are creepy enough.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

My ducks are not even remotely in a row. My ducks are in places no duck has ever gone before.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Blocking people isn’t enough. I need their favorite TV show to get cancelled.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Sometimes I shower in the dark and pretend I’m in a rainforest on an alien planet.

Making waves on TikTok:

Teens are like, “My homework isn’t done, but check out this presentation I made on why I need Instagram.”

Just shared via Instagram:

Saving on divorce lawyers by staying single.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

A dating app for people who suck at flirting called Fumble.

Trending via Telegram:

A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

Shared recently on Instagram:

If my neighbors keep fighting like this, I might need to cancel some of my streaming services.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I only go for nature walks with people I can outrun.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

You’re over 35. Better go pee before you leave, pee when you get there, pee while you’re there, and pee before you leave.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If you want to feel really bad about yourself, just start dating.

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Activity Log ✨

I love how a film can be life-changing for one person and boring for another.

I can’t believe bedtime used to be a punishment.

My doctor just diagnosed me with anxiety and constipation. Now I’m worried shitless.

My husband asked me if he had any annoying habits then got offended during the PowerPoint presentation.

“This would be better if there was cake” really does ring true in any situation.

Holding it together with duct tape and sarcasm.

Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I love how a film can be life-changing for one person and boring for another.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I can’t believe bedtime used to be a punishment.

My doctor just diagnosed me with anxiety and constipation. Now I’m worried shitless.

My husband asked me if he had any annoying habits then got offended during the PowerPoint presentation.

“This would be better if there was cake” really does ring true in any situation.

Holding it together with duct tape and sarcasm.

Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨