Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

He thinks I’m so smart because I read books. Baby, they is FAWKING in these books.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

One thing that sucks about being grown-up is not being able to say, “My mom said no,” when you don’t want someone to come over.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning. I was putting on my shoes.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

I need a reasonable job. Something like $3,000 an hour. Nothing too wild.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Like an advent calendar, you make me want to open up more every day.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Carrying a conversation counts as cardio.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,386

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you’re shopping for something else because they just won’t budge.

Going viral on Messenger:

I prefer my weighted blanket in human form.

Making waves on Instagram:

I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Men be like, yes, I hurt you, but now you hate me, so I am the true victim.

Just landed via Slack:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

Shared recently on TikTok:

A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?

Going viral on Instagram:

Libraries were a good start, but we need more places where people can’t talk.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Awake? You may be entitled to compensation.

Just shared via YouTube:

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

I miss getting my misinformation from less places.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, the good ol' days when we could rely on just one unreliable source for our daily dose of confusion! 🙈 Now we're swimming in a sea of misinformation from every direction! 🌊😂 #TheStruggleIsReal"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Full-time” should be 20 hours max, man. This is ridiculous. I’ve got other stuff to do.

67 shares on Telegram this month:

Dear wallet, please get pregnant.

34 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s not magic, but I bet you are reading this post with one leg on top of the other.

43 shares on Slack this month:

Perfume is designed to be an invisible accessory. It’s not designed to instantly kill the canary when you entered the room.

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Caveman: I just invented the wheel. Journalist: Here’s why the wheel is bad for humanity.

25 shares on Threads this month:

My mom and all her opinions are visiting this weekend.

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

57 shares on Slack this month:

Do you ever hang out with someone else’s family, and you’re like, ooooh, so this is what it’s supposed to be like?

89 shares on TikTok this month:

Not to be dramatic, but when I accidentally save a file twice and it adds that (1) at the end, it is the worst moment of my life.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t rub your happiness in people’s faces this Valentine’s Day. Let the couples enjoy themselves for once.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

In honor of the winter solstice, I also will be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I avoid drama by being unpopular.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Relationship status: my last pickpocket had really gentle hands.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Am I just getting older, or are people getting more annoying?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,672

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

I’ve decided to become an organ donor. When I die, I want an elephant to get a new trunk.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

The modern condition is mostly trying to do things on your own that people have historically achieved with a large support network, and wondering why you’re tired all the time.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

I love going “Streets are saying” before I say something I literally just made up.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

ASAP can also mean as slow as possible.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

My parents grew to like my girlfriend so much, they take her as their own daughter. Now they started looking for a proper boyfriend for her.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

A pet resting their little paw on you is a sign of respect in their culture.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

On my way to HR again for nicknaming my coworker “Mastercard” because they take credit for other people’s work.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Sometimes I see how many vacations people take and I wonder if I’m bad with money or if they are.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

Just shared via X:

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

Going viral on Facebook:

Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m always happy when I come home from shopping and the note on the table reminds me of what I wanted to buy.

Just shared via X:

Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

Spotted on Instagram:

I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

Just landed via Instagram:

Only a couple more days until I come home and pretend I forgot about Valentine’s Day.

Spotted on Messenger:

I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

Breaking via Instagram:

Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.

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