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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Good morning to everyone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Babe, would it kill you to meow back?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

In a job interview, you can always respond to an awkward question with a deep gaze and parted lips, followed by “You complete me.”

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40’s: it’s ten years of people saying “wait until you’re 50”.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

20 minutes ago

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

If you’re 20, please stop saying you’re tired. I have bananas older than you.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The art of today’s art is to persuade people that it’s art.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Nothing is smaller than the X on ads to click them away.

Spotted on Discord:

I enjoy long walks in the woods, but only because there’s a chance I’ll get eaten by a bear.

Shared recently on YouTube:

There is no bigger day for microwaves than the 26th day of December. This is their Olympics.

Making waves on Discord:

On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

Going viral on X:

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

Going viral on Discord:

If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.

I miss when bills had nothing to do with me.

3 months ago

I miss when bills had nothing to do with me.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the good old days when bills were just a male name or a duck's beak 🦆💸! When 'bill' only brought to mind a friendly duck or a guy named William, not financial woes and stress! Take me back to those simpler times when bills were just something ducks used to paddle around, not something we have to pay 🦆💰!

adulthood, bills, humor, i, me, miss, nostalgia, nothing, responsibility

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

20 minutes ago

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

No one is shocked when a defibrillator doesn’t work.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

The children seemed disappointed when I told them the best part about being an adult is going to bed early.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

The sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

When phones were tied with wires, people were free. Now that phones are wireless, people are tied.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

The world needs to chill out. There’s no way future history teachers can cram all this nonsense into a semester.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Remember, you don’t have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Adulting in 3 words: it’s always something.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

It’s so foggy outside. Y’all gotta stop vaping.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Being awake is the worst.

Making waves on Threads:

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

Making waves on Messenger:

A good substitute for love and and personal fulfillment is a big bowl of fries.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

Trending via Twitch:

My account is fake, I’m actually your probation officer.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Spending 5 minutes looking up every word I want to use in a sentence to make sure I can define it in case they ask.

Just landed via TikTok:

I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

Making waves on Messenger:

Not just anyone can be cremated. You have to urn it.

Live now on Reddit:

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

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