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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Note to self: No more bitching about ugly furniture with people at IKEA whose home you haven’t been to yet.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

I hate to brag but I excel at my faults.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

When you’re sad, find two equally sad friends and form a cryangle.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

No matter how small you make that “unsubscribe” link, I’ll still find it.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

The key to a healthy relationship is taking turns being the sad one.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

My favorite pastime is staying up way later than I should and complaining the next day about how tired I am.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

My family was too poor for a gene pool, so we soaked our genes in rye whiskey.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,257

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I love routine. Until I’m bored, then I love excitement. Until I’m overwhelmed, then I love routine.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Everyone is getting idioter.

Just landed via YouTube:

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

Just landed via Pinterest:

They said don’t try this at home, so I’m coming over to your place.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

When life hands me lemons, I put them in the fridge next to the bagged salad I’m also not going to eat.

Making waves on TikTok:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

Going viral on Slack:

Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I speak my mind, cause it hurts when I bite my tongue.

I miss when bills had nothing to do with me.

0
I miss when bills had nothing to do with me.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the good old days when bills were just a male name or a duck's beak 🦆💸! When 'bill' only brought to mind a friendly duck or a guy named William, not financial woes and stress! Take me back to those simpler times when bills were just something ducks used to paddle around, not something we have to pay 🦆💰!

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on YouTube this month:

Pasta is something I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of.

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

My favorite voicemails are those where the person doesn’t leave one.

54 shares on Slack this month:

Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Don’t wait for later to eat the cake. Do it now, before another mammal of your household finds it.

82 shares on WeChat this month:

I hate how everything is organic now. I miss chemicals.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

72 shares on Reddit this month:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

59 shares on Telegram this month:

Every family needs a delusional daughter who is ambitious about relieving all her family’s struggles solely by winning the lottery one day.

28 shares on Threads this month:

Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

Hulk Hogan’s gone, so I’ll be ripping shirts and screaming “BROTHERRR!” at strangers in his honor.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

It sucks when a woman realizes that her knight in shining armor was actually just a moron wrapped in tinfoil.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I thought being an adult meant cake for breakfast, not budgeting for therapy.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Having to pay to read scientific and scholarly articles is a really disgusting and pathetic practice.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t post for money or fame, I post because there’s something seriously wrong with me.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

On the next episode of Hoarders, they visit my subconscious.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I actually think it’s quite beautiful that you have to be the one to save yourself.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Honestly, will never top the year I told everyone I was going to be Amelia Earhart for Halloween, and then didn’t show up to the party.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where using the wrong pillow makes you feel like you broke your neck.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,329

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Laugh all you want. My Encyclopedia Britannica set will never require WiFi.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

She’s got style. She’s got grace. She dropped her cellphone on her face. She’s a lady.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Coffee tastes so much better handed to me.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

If bugs could talk, they would probably say things like, “What the bug?”

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

“Are you sexually active?” Dude, I’m not even socially active.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Getting my next boyfriend a flip phone. He doesn’t need anything more.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

A woman’s way of flirting is thinking about you until you get the urge to reach out to her.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I hate liars, but what I hate more is when they think I’m an idiot and won’t find out the truth.

Spotted on YouTube:

Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

Just shared via Instagram:

Love how Batman: The Animated Series seems to take place in the 40s and the 50s and the 70s and the 90s all at once.

Breaking via X:

I’ve saved every episode of Hoarders.

Breaking via Threads:

Technically I’m still young, but according to my back pain I’m actually 69.

Breaking via Twitch:

Soup is great for when you’re hungry but want to still feel hungry afterward.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m so single right now that I stood on a cliff and shouted, “I love you,” and my echo replied, “I just wanna be friends.”

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

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