Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

If you think about it, Santa really has the best job, he works one day a year and spends the rest of his time judging people.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m in preschool or school… Oh wait, I’m at work.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I always take two stairs at a time, that way if I fall, it’s only half the distance.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Wow, pretty rude for people to exist who are younger and hotter than me, but OK.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

After ten true crime podcasts you start to think you could probably solve a murder. After a hundred you start to think you could probably get away with one.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

When I am calculating any risk, I think to myself: is this first cat life behavior? Or ninth cat life behavior?

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Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Some days you’re the bat, some days you’re the ball.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.