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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

I hate checking my bank account after having a good time.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

You will meet a girl who is very strange and a little bit evil. It’s really important that you don’t lose me.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

What was the main bloke called in Harry Potter?

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my ID photo.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Homeless man just called me a “loser,” and I showed him my house keys.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans no longer fit.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Hate when I get halfway there and have to go back for my teeth.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

“Work smarter, not harder.” Brother, I’m not doing either of those things.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,680

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Note to self: Very important! First hang up, then insult.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

By the time my CVS receipt finished printing, I was eligible for another prescription refill.

Live now on YouTube:

When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?

Just shared via Snapchat:

You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

Trending via Slack:

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Maturing is when you’d rather drink your bourbon half-naked on the couch than go out.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

Making waves on Slack:

I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

If there is a God and He “loves” us, then explain snakes.

I should’ve been an air conditioner because all I do is vent.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"I've always suspected you were just 'full of hot air'! 😅🍃❄️ #CoolerThanICouldEverBe"

air, air conditioner, attitude, conditioner, cooling, humor, i, joke, personality, sarcastic, vent

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”

0

2 months ago

cicada, humor, i, insects, mind, nature, scream, sound, summer
I hope my parents feel proud. They scared me so bad about getting pregnant as a teenager that now they’re never getting grandkids.

0

1 week ago

bad, family, fear, feel, getting, grandkid, grandkids, hope, humor, i, me, never, parent, parenting, parents, pregnancy, pregnant, proud, scare, scare tactic, scared, tactic, teenager
When the gun shoots your brain, that’s amore.

0

5 days ago

amore, brain, gun, humor, pun, suicide, wordplay
I am single, please disturb me!

0

2 months ago

am, disturb, fun, humor, i, independence, loneliness, me, relationship, single
Super excited about a brand new week of self-sabotage.

0

5 months ago

brand, excited, excitement, humor, motivation, new, procrastination, sarcasm, self sabotage, super, week
He’s a 10 but so is his volume.

0

2 months ago

$10, dating, humor, personality, relationship, traits, volume

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

43 shares on X this month:

Okay, seen enough, someone put a blanket over my cage.

71 shares on Facebook this month:

Unfortunately for the both of us, I really like you.

23 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

15 shares on Discord this month:

Never in my life have I heard my dad sneeze at an acceptable volume.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

When I moved into my new igloo, my friends threw me a surprise housewarming party. Now I’m homeless.

16 shares on Slack this month:

I’m bad at being sad. Three mins later, I’m making jokes about my situation.

58 shares on Telegram this month:

“Please feel free to ignore this email!” Way ahead of you, buddy.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Amazing how fast my addiction to my phone is cured the moment I get a phone call.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

If you listen closely, you can hear me not caring.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

In university, you can literally tell who had no freedom at home.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

What happened to the huge corporate Christmas parties you see in all the ’90s movies? Seems like that doesn’t exist at all anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

“Where did all your money go?” I’m either wearing it or eating it.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

I was meant to be rich, I can tell by the way I spend money.

Just shared via TikTok:

Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.

Live now on Telegram:

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

Just shared via WeChat:

I want the dreams to chase me for once.

Just landed via TikTok:

You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

Going viral on X:

Behind every strong, independent woman… is a dog that follows her to the bathroom.

Just shared via Messenger:

The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.

Going bananas on Slack:

Spending all my money on lottery tickets so I’ll either be rich or poor, none of this wishy-washy stuff in the middle.

Making waves on Instagram:

Unmarried in your 30s should honestly be rebranded as – ‘Congrats, you didn’t pick the wrong person out of panic’.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I should’ve been an air conditioner because all I do is vent.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”

I hope my parents feel proud. They scared me so bad about getting pregnant as a teenager that now they’re never getting grandkids.

When the gun shoots your brain, that’s amore.

I am single, please disturb me!

Super excited about a brand new week of self-sabotage.

He’s a 10 but so is his volume.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨