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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

That masculine urge to completely avoid relationships until you get your life together.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Men be like, “You’ve been different ever since I disrespected you.”

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

My ex is somewhere telling his new girlfriend how bad I was, and she’s smiling, thinking she made it in life. Two idiots.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

It’s weird when you realize we are the last generation on this Earth to know what lite was like before social media.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

I named my dog “5 Miles,” so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

You’ll be watching a series, and they’ll just randomly start playing the best song you’ve ever heard in your life.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,272

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

Bank account nice and empty. Starting the new month on a clean slate.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

My husband sure has a lot of opinions on which movie he’s gonna sleep through.

Going viral on TikTok:

I’m in my thirties, but I still feel like I am in my twenties; then I hang out with people in their twenties, and I’m like nope, definitely in my thirties.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Of course women need more pockets, where are we supposed to hold all of our grudges?

Broadcasted on Threads:

I use karate strictly as a last resort, after I’ve exhausted fleeing and screaming.

Just shared via Messenger:

I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.

Live now on Reddit:

Diet hack: Spend your money filling up your gas tank so you won’t have money for groceries.

Broadcasted on Threads:

People that never want to leave the house unite! Separately at our own homes.

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
When letters crashed the number party, math officially became alphabet soup! 🤓🍜

alphabet, confusion, humor, i, joke, learning, math, stopped, understanding

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on Facebook this month:

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

31 shares on TikTok this month:

If you gain 4 pounds in one weekend, that just means you’re an overachiever.

97 shares on Telegram this month:

Grammar is important. It’s the difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you’re nuts.

59 shares on X this month:

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

61 shares on Facebook this month:

Boxes of pasta don’t need a plastic window. I believe pasta is in the box.

85 shares on X this month:

My unemployed neighbor with an unlimited firework budget would like to wish everyone a happy 9th of July.

67 shares on Reddit this month:

A lot of men actually do forgive cheating, as long as their homies don’t know.

48 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t need a New Year’s resolution, it’s the year’s turn to be better.

81 shares on Twitch this month:

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

27 shares on Threads this month:

I like the concept of restaurant appetizers: “Bring me something to eat. And bring me something else to eat while I’m waiting.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Imagine thinking you have any clue what’s going on.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

I sexually identify as a microwave dinner, because I am ready in 5 minutes, look nothing like my photos, and I’m just satisfying enough for you to want me again when you’re desperate.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Sorry that I cannot come out drinking with you tonight, as I will be drinking at home. Alone. By myself.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

One man’s worst nightmare (me) is another man’s peace (also me).

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

My teenager has really expensive taste for someone who can’t afford to buy their own toothpaste.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Don’t judge me on my likes, I’m confusing the algorithm.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Love is in the air, but so is the flu. Wash your hands!

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.

Breaking via Slack:

Texting is so boring. Just show up to my door with roses.

Just landed via Facebook:

How can people lift weights? My arms get tired just by putting my hair up in a ponytail.

Just shared via Threads:

What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Stupid cow blocking the road. HOW DAIRY!

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Just broke a clothes hanger and now have seven years of bad outfits.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Grant me the supernatural ability to change the things I cannot accept.

Going viral on Instagram:

All these laws are really getting in the way of my driving.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

Brains are awesome. I wish I had one.

When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

One year closer to whatever age my obituary will say.

Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

There’s a disconnect between the decibel level of my car singing and my talent.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

Brains are awesome. I wish I had one.

When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

One year closer to whatever age my obituary will say.

Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

There’s a disconnect between the decibel level of my car singing and my talent.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨