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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ή has downloaded:

I’ve got the longest to-do list for today, just need to figure out who is going to do it.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡· has bookmarked:

Thought I was a minimalist, turns out I’m just broke.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡± has copied:

If you start liking someone, just block them. Follow me for more relationship advice.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡© has bookmarked:

Every app is a dating app if you are creepy enough.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡² has copied:

I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡§ has viewed:

Transgender ambulance driver whose pronouns are we/you/we/you/we/you.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡· has viewed:

She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡± has copied:

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡­ has shared:

I love asking 5 different people for advice then doing what I want.

Someone from πŸ‡ΌπŸ‡Έ has copied:

Today, I want to talk about underperforming continents. Antarctica, explain yourself.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

2405 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,567

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,567

Updated

23 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I can turn wine into water about two hours after drinking it. Checkmate Jesus.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

Trending via Reddit:

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

Breaking via Slack:

Screen time so high, I should send another risky message and then ignore my cell phone for three days.

Trending via Reddit:

Being completely ignored on Twitter is associated with higher IQ.

Making waves on Messenger:

I may be a chaotic mess, but then so is quantum physics.

Just landed via YouTube:

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Andrew Tate is what you’d get if Axe body spray gained consciousness.

Making waves on Twitch:

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

Going viral on YouTube:

Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.
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Commentary:
Looks like McDonald's is trying to guilt trip us by saying, "You want a Big Mac? Here, have a salad with a side of burger!" πŸ”πŸ₯— At this rate, we might as well start calling them "Big Lettuces" instead of Big Macs! πŸ˜‚

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

2405 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,567

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,567

Updated

23 minutes ago

Users Online

3,464

Funny Quotes of the Month πŸš€

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡² has shared:

Kinda rude when I spend money, and it actually leaves my bank account. But okay.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡· has downloaded:

Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡¨ has viewed:

Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡© has downloaded:

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡· has downloaded:

I want to run through your dreams and settle in your nightmares.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ή has shared:

My kids asked me what games I used to play on my iPad as a kid. I told them I used to speak into a fan to sound like a robot.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ύ has copied:

Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡Ώ has shared:

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡¦ has viewed:

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Ύ has shared:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Breaking via WhatsApp:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

Spotted on WeChat:

My plans for today? Same as always: drink coffee and be sexy.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

Shared recently on Slack:

Shopping is the only exercise I need.

Just landed via Twitch:

You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!

Making waves on Discord:

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I hate Valentine’s Day but I do enjoy infant archery.

Spotted on Reddit:

I’m afraid to go to therapy β€” what if they fix me and I lose my funny?

Live now on Reddit:

Tai Chi is so crazy because it’s like throwing a slow motion tantrum.

Making waves on Instagram:

Remember, for some unknown reason Santa doesn’t make batteries.

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