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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

My doubters will become my grouters when I remodel the bathroom of success.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Behind every great tweet is a person rolling their eyes.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

The real reason for global warming is that today’s young people are nowhere near as cool as we were back then.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Ever read a post multiple times, still tilt your head and whisper, “What?!”

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Let the example of my fluke success guide nearly all of you to crushing disappointment.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you that you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,646

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

Don’t buy roses for her, buy chicken nuggets. Show her you really care.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Girls … I understood why they advise us to get married and have kids before 25. Because after that, our brain starts working, and the decision won’t seem so reasonable anymore.

Just landed via Telegram:

My favorite military tradition is asking someone what an acronym means right after they use it, and they don’t know what it means.

Live now on WeChat:

University is more like teaching yourself for a class you paid for.

Just shared via X:

Texting is so boring. Just show up to my door with roses.

Going viral on Reddit:

Beer is Narcan for when you overdose on Microsoft Teams.

Going bananas on Threads:

If you innocently act like you don’t know, people will explain dirty words to you and it’s hilarious.

Making waves on X:

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

Just landed via Reddit:

When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The easiest diet is lack of money. You don’t have to do anything.

I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like McDonald's is trying to guilt trip us by saying, "You want a Big Mac? Here, have a salad with a side of burger!" 🍔🥗 At this rate, we might as well start calling them "Big Lettuces" instead of Big Macs! 😂

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Facebook this month:

Dear phone, if you didn’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!

68 shares on Discord this month:

I’m no expert, but I don’t think the United Kingdom is very united.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

67 shares on Twitch this month:

They’re uploading my consciousness into a disposable vape.

54 shares on TikTok this month:

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

31 shares on Threads this month:

Me to cat: quit looking at me like I’m an ingredient.

100 shares on Threads this month:

Slapping the TV remote on your knee extends the battery life. It’s science.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

52 shares on WeChat this month:

I’d rather throw everything I own in the trash than try to deal with people on Facebook Marketplace.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s a beautiful morning. Lots of people out walking their phones.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’m ever mad at you, just talk to me in a sweeter and softer tone, and watch how quickly that anger disappears.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Relationship status: my last pickpocket had really gentle hands.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Thoughts more intrusive than a 90s sitcom neighbor.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe the wolf from The Neverending Story still has nightmares about me, too.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope “be the light you want to see in the world” doesn’t refer to Molotov Cocktails.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,252

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

No more learning experiences, please, God. I am smart enough.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

That friend who asks too many personal questions? He’s not concerned. He’s collecting.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

You can’t spell dyslexia without sexy.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

If your name is “Guy”, you have lazy parents.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

When I moved into my new igloo, my friends threw me a surprise housewarming party. Now I’m homeless.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Soup is great for when you’re hungry but want to still feel hungry afterward.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Always tell people different stories about yourself, so when they talk about you, they’ll argue.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Oh good. Another day.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

My most boomer complaint is that nobody knows how to bring an item out of courtesy to parties anymore.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.

Seen just now on YouTube:

If I’m out drinking and “Push It” starts playing, take me home immediately.

Seen just now on Slack:

I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!

Just shared via TikTok:

This year has been the perfect blend of me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Just landed via Instagram:

People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

Spotted on Discord:

The inventor of autocorrect walked into a bar and ordered a bear.

Spotted on Slack:

I get unreasonably happy when a YouTube video has subtitles that aren’t auto-generated.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

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