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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has bookmarked:

Why are there people outside at the same time as me? It’s my turn.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

Professor, set the time machine for right now. I’m trying to be more present.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡น has downloaded:

You ever feel awkward in Target, cause you know you belong at Walmart.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡พ has copied:

Glasses donโ€™t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡น has viewed:

Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said โ€˜You can do mine next!โ€™ This used to be a real country.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ผ has bookmarked:

You don’t have to be crazy to be friends with me. I also train people.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฆ has viewed:

Imagine if all the money spent on AI was spent on trains.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has downloaded:

Liking someone romantically is actually just a humiliation ritual.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has viewed:

We’re all in the billionaire submarine now.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has viewed:

Remember that even the worst haircut will eventually grow on you.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,650

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just shared via Instagram:

Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.

Going bananas on YouTube:

When people say theyโ€™re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’ve accepted I’ll never retire. I’ll be working up until my funeral… probably using a vacation day for it.

Trending via Snapchat:

I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Aren’t you a little old to be a bully?

Making waves on Twitch:

I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, Iโ€™m sweating mayo.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

Just landed via Twitch:

I have everything you could possibly ever need in my purse, except for money.

Just shared via Reddit:

I wish companies would use pictures of models looking frazzled and exhausted on their websites, so I can get a real idea of what their clothes will look like on me.

I told you so. Kind regards, your gut feeling.

0
I told you so. Kind regards, your gut feeling.
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Commentary:
"Looks like your gut feeling is sending you some sassy vibes! ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ Who needs psychic powers when you have a gut that never fails to say 'I told you so'? ๐Ÿ˜‚ Kind regards indeed! ๐Ÿ™ƒ"

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

Social Media Stars โญ

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

50 shares on Telegram this month:

Some people donโ€™t have a permanent handwriting. It depends on their mood and the pen they use.

59 shares on Instagram this month:

Whenever Iโ€™m willing to sell my soul, thereโ€™s usually food involved.

83 shares on X this month:

I try to find the good in every situation. Wait, no – that was a typo. Food. I try to find the food in every situation.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m tired of adding ‘LOL’ to the end of my texts for sensitive people.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

I donโ€™t follow washing instructions, youโ€™re my clothes you donโ€™t tell me what to do.

10 shares on Discord this month:

People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

49 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.

79 shares on Reddit this month:

Facebook is extremely over-engineered for a birthday reminder app.

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sorry, I donโ€™t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

8 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Canโ€™t believe we used to throw eggs at houses, and now we can afford neither eggs nor houses.

23 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

The rain is pouring. So naturally itโ€™s a good day to eat 6 donuts.

9 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I really miss kissing. I hope next year favors my lips.

19 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Why can’t I cry money instead of tears?

22 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

In terms of wasting time, today was very productive.

20 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

25 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

30s: Oh look, a dance floor! 50s: Oh look, a couch!

25 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

My superpower is embarrassing myself.

12 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I wish there was a nicer way to say โ€œmy natural tendency to spot patterns is making me feel very uncomfortable about youโ€.

17 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

When people are telling me a story about their life it often reminds me of a much better story from my life.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,275

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ณ has downloaded:

Can’t believe penguins have to publish all those books with their tiny hands.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ญ has shared:

I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks likeโ€ฆ and then put it back.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has copied:

There’s nothing better than knowing that you don’t have to set an alarm clock for the next day.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has shared:

Is anyone else really scared for how stupid and illiterate the next generations are gonna be?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡พ has downloaded:

I am losing touch with reality and I couldnโ€™t be happier.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

When the gun shoots your brain, that’s amore.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has downloaded:

About to form my very first opinion.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฆ has downloaded:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and share if you agree.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ณ has viewed:

I love jogging in this heat, cause the sweat hides my tears.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Live now on Reddit:

Why talk to bots when my plants listen just fine?

Just shared via Pinterest:

This entire year I was method acting. None of it was real. I was working on a bit.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Making fun of bands that only play 3 chords when I donโ€™t even know what a chord is.

Just landed via TikTok:

Know what goes good with beer? Another one.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Last night my guardian angel came to me, covered me up, gave me a kiss on the forehead and whispered in my ear: “You’re a pain in the ass!”

Spotted on Pinterest:

I don’t need the web for attention, I jog in a wedding dress.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

Trending via Snapchat:

Who called it a heatwave and not a temperature tantrum?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

ยฉ 2026. All rights reserved.

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