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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Therapy is nice but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize, I honestly did not think you could read.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

To everyone who wrote “stay cool” in my year book, I have some devastating news.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I’m never single for too long, you gotta catch me while you can.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Every time you break spaghetti noodles in half, an Italian has a stroke.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

I’ll find a cell mate before I’ll ever find a soulmate.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,684

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My parents didn’t raise me to order something expensive when someone else is paying.

Live now on Facebook:

Now that I got a library card, I’m moving differently.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

My workout goals are simple: I’d just like to be able to get up off the floor without looking like a turtle trying to flip itself back over.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

Spotted on Reddit:

I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

Trending via X:

All I want I for Christmas is to go to the mall in 1986.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Sex is cool, but have you ever received reassurance without asking for it?

Just shared via WeChat:

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. It will never bring you true happiness or fulfillment. Also, it’s a felony.

I wanna be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have some new ideas.

2 months ago

0

I wanna be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have some new ideas.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the nostalgia of teenage rebellion! 💥👧🏻 Who knew that at 14 we could have been even more innovative in our life-ruining endeavors? 🤔💭 Here's to the wisdom that comes with age… or maybe just new mischief-making skills! 😂🙌 #TeenageThrowback

14, again, change, humor, i, ideas, life, new, nostalgia, ruin, youth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

0

2 months ago

God, gratitude, humor, i, job, lottery, me, money, planned, prayer, ready, thank, thank you, win
For someone with a dry phone, I’m on it way too much.

0

4 months ago

addiction, dry, dry phone, humor, much, phone, screen, screen time, someone, technology, time, too, usage
The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.

0

2 months ago

activity, attempt, cartwheel, crazy, day, exercise, fitness, got, humor, i, idea, nostalgia, physical, physical activity, self-deprecating, still
Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

0

2 months ago

comparison, Facebook, friends, humor, media, pens, relationships, social, social media, writing
I’m terrified of escalators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.

0

2 months ago

avoid, avoidance, escalator, fear, humor, joke, phobia, steps, taking, terrified
I was waiting on the universe but the universe was actually waiting on me.

0

2 months ago

expectations, humor, i, irony, me, reflection, self-discovery, timing, universe, waiting

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t post for money or fame, I post because there’s something seriously wrong with me.

97 shares on Twitch this month:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

35 shares on Discord this month:

Whenever my Mother-in-Law’s stories end with “And I turned out OK” I’m looking around like who’s gonna tell her.

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Going to a concert with a tomato in each hand just to make the band nervous.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

No pre-workout, just flashbacks of stuff I let slide.

73 shares on Telegram this month:

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

Marriage is just asking each other, “What do you want to do for dinner?” and then replying, “No, not that,” until death do us part.

53 shares on Facebook this month:

My favorite part about going camping is the part where I stay at home, and I don’t go camping.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

Once your parents move from “What time are you coming back” to “Are you coming back today,” you have won the war.

20 shares on Telegram this month:

Clicked on ‘Make a reservation’ on a restaurant’s page, and it opened FaceTime and started calling them. I cannot stress enough how much I do not want that to happen.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Just a reminder that you’re not allowed to hit your coworkers. Even if they’re stupid. I asked. Twice.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I do block people right away; you’re not going to stress me out on my own phone, with my own internet, and in my own house.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

On today’s family vacation agenda: my parents read the internet out loud.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If you like constant interruptions when you’re trying to get something done, then parenting might be for you.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

According to a recent study, women who are a little overweight live longer than men who mention it.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

How about hold me as tight as you’re holding onto that grudge?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,664

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

My mouth moves faster than my survival instincts.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I will charge a 25% tariff on my steely gaze.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Relationship status: my sex robot filed a restraining order.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Follow your dreams – ideally in a field that will still require humans when you graduate.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Packed all my meds into one bottle for a trip and accidentally invented the best trail mix.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Tons of names in my phones are “Kenny Landlord,” “Mike Electric,” or “Pete Do Not Answer,” and I just realized this is how Anglo surnames have always worked.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

No more relationships for me, the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Job interviewer: “Where do you see yourself in 5 years’ time?” Me: “My greatest strength is that I’m a good listener.”

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I hate when I change the battery in the bathroom scale, and it starts telling the truth again.

Breaking via X:

Cover letters are so embarrassing. Why am I writing a love letter to this shitty company?

Just landed via Pinterest:

Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Some days you have breakfast for dinner and live life on your own terms.

Breaking via X:

The more I use social media, the more I see why children shouldn’t.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.

Trending via YouTube:

Nothing worse than when I turn up to Park Run to find it is indeed going ahead.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Apologies about the delay to your flight. We’re just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a ‘fuselage’ takes a little time.

Live now on X:

I would have loads of money if I liked Ramen Noodles and hated vodka.

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