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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

“I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

I am AOL Instant Messenger years old.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

You look like the type of person that would fart in bed and Dutch Oven yourself.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Nobody knows what to do with me and I just think that’s beautiful.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Lately life has been all panic no disco.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Being gracefully unhinged is the only way to get through the everyday bullshit.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,418

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

It’s this time again when you have to choose between coffee and mulled wine in the morning.

Spotted on TikTok:

No more relationships for me, the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

A fun wedding bit is to sit next to a random guest, point to the bride or groom & whisper, “it should’ve been you”

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Who are these people that buy unsalted butter on purpose?

Just shared via TikTok:

People don’t hate working, they hate working and still being poor.

Just shared via Pinterest:

They should invent a rest for the wicked.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Chuck Norris got shot. The bullet is in critical condition.

Spotted on Messenger:

Santa doesn’t check the naughty list anymore, he just checks social media.

I want Al to do my laundry and dishes so that I can do art and writing, not for Al to do my art and writing so that I can do my laundry and dishes.

22 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like AI's got its chores confused… Can we get a software update for doing laundry next? 🧺🤖🎨📚

AI, al, art, chores, creativity, dish, dishes, humor, i, laundry, productivity, want, writing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

0

2 months ago

dance, expression, farewell, fun, good, good riddance, humor, i, put, riddance
Welcome to your 40s… you can now use this as an excuse not to help a friend move.

0

2 months ago

40s, adulthood, age, excuse, friend, help, humor, joke, move, welcome
If politicians can text my cell phone asking for money, I should be able to text them directly with policy suggestions.

0

2 months ago

able, asking, cell, cell phone, communication, humor, i, money, phone, policy, politicians, should, suggestions, text
Nothing says sexy like a pair of sensible, silky polka dot PJs.

0

2 months ago

comfort, confidence, dot, fashion, humor, nothing, PJs, polka, polka dot, sexy, silky, sleepwear, style
I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

0

2 months ago

believe, communication, digital, digital life, email, emails, humor, i, life, message, something, technology, tell, trying, us
If I could have immunity to anything I would pick calories.

0

2 months ago

calory, diet, food, humor, i, immunity, pick

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

40 shares on Twitch this month:

All of my passwords are protected by short-term memory loss.

99 shares on Reddit this month:

Has anyone ever considered that Dr. Pepper could be a gynecologist?

90 shares on TikTok this month:

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

She was rare. Like a parking spot in the front row on a rainy day.

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sometimes, fasting from people is also important.

72 shares on Instagram this month:

If you love me, please don’t ask me to go camping with you.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

They should make statues of regular people, like you’re walking through the park and there’s a statue of your friend Jeff.

47 shares on X this month:

Fun Fact: Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap.

93 shares on Threads this month:

Sorry, can’t make it, just remembered I don’t want to.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

I started at the bottom and worked my way down.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

No, I love darkness at 5pm and the death of a nation.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I’m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Who’s your favorite horror director? Mine’s God.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Please don’t celebrate April Fool’s day if you’re not a fool. My culture is not your costume.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Spiders have the whole world to explore but still try to come up in my house.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

I don’t have any generational wealth but I did inherit a great spaghetti sauce recipe.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Demi Lovato is short for demilitarized love potato.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

Just landed via YouTube:

Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

It’s important to remember that even parents make mistakes. In fact, it’s how many of us became parents.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Hannibal Lecter didn’t have to be a serial killer, he was scary enough as a foodie.

Freshly posted on X:

I just really hope The Weeknd’s real name isn’t Mnday.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Apparently it’s inappropriate to yell out “Shots, shots, shots, shots” while your child’s getting immunizations at the pediatrician’s office.

Spotted on YouTube:

I’d rather be spotted in a strip club than a Subway.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

My sleeping pattern isn’t even a pattern anymore. It’s a lifestyle.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Hey, I came over because the grass seemed really green here, but now that I’m looking back that grass actually looks crazy green, so I’m gonna go.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I want Al to do my laundry and dishes so that I can do art and writing, not for Al to do my art and writing so that I can do my laundry and dishes.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

Welcome to your 40s… you can now use this as an excuse not to help a friend move.

If politicians can text my cell phone asking for money, I should be able to text them directly with policy suggestions.

Nothing says sexy like a pair of sensible, silky polka dot PJs.

I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

If I could have immunity to anything I would pick calories.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨