Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Wanting a spotless house while managing a hurricane of toys and snacks 🏡🌪️ Parenting, the eternal struggle of cleanliness vs chaos!😅 #MomLife"

cleanliness, family, house, humor, i, kicking, kids, parenting, spotless, struggle, want, wrong

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Quickie so fast, it’s called secs.

0

2 months ago

fast, humor, joke, play, play on words, quickie, secs, speed, time, words
If you’re cheering for the stormtroopers, we cannot be friends.

0

2 months ago

cheering, fan, Fan humor, friends, friendship, humor, movie, movie quote, star, Star Wars, stormtrooper, wars
Most puns make me feel numb, but math puns make me feel number.

0

2 months ago

feel, humor, joke, math, me, most, numb, number, pun, puns, wordplay
How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

0

2 months ago

dare, delay, frustration, hold, humor, irony, journey, me, person, place, presence, time, traffic
My mother told me there is a girl for me in every corner of the earth, but unfortunately the earth is round.

0

2 months ago

corner, Earth, girl, humor, joke, love, me, mother, relationship, round
Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

0

2 months ago

adolescence, again, communication, day, English, expectation, forward, humor, language, looking, parenting, speaking, teenager

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Reddit this month:

Being sleepy all day is just part of who I am.

22 shares on Telegram this month:

Have you ever met the human version of a headache?

28 shares on Twitch this month:

People are teaching their dogs how to skateboard and my dog’s chart at the vet says “must be picked up, won’t walk”.

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Still waiting for aliens to abduct me, which feels pretty rude considering I’ve been dressed and ready for years.

63 shares on Snapchat this month:

Seems like the mosquitoes swiped right on me.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

Behind every strong, independent woman… is a dog that follows her to the bathroom.

29 shares on Slack this month:

Dogs have two jobs: calm their humans when they are stressed. Stress their humans when they are calm.

93 shares on WeChat this month:

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

71 shares on Pinterest this month:

Remember before social media you would have to pick up the phone and call someone to tell them how much you love bacon?

80 shares on Slack this month:

Shark tooth necklaces are the perfect accessory if you want to look tough but also tell the world, “I’ve been to a gift shop.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Shoutout to myself for ruining my own life.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

You’re in her DMs, she’s in my bed whining that it’s too cold. Can you come get her?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Is there anyone here old enough to remember when typing was a class in high school?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

If a zombie and vampire bite each other, who turns who?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Being a consultant would be fun. Like “hmmm… maybe! Here’s your invoice.”

Trending via Slack:

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

Just shared via Twitch:

My wife is napping quietly and the villain of this story is about to be this sneeze.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Tried counting sheep, but now I’m emotionally invested in their backstories and I think one might need therapy.

Just landed via Discord:

I assume people who bookmark my posts are building a case against me.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

Going viral on Reddit:

There’s something fundamentally wrong with the way people interact with each other on LinkedIn.

Trending via Reddit:

“Do something with your life.” Um, I am. Have you heard of a little thing called squandering?

Just landed via Telegram:

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Quickie so fast, it’s called secs.

If you’re cheering for the stormtroopers, we cannot be friends.

Most puns make me feel numb, but math puns make me feel number.

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

My mother told me there is a girl for me in every corner of the earth, but unfortunately the earth is round.

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨