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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

I probably think this song is about me.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Revenge? No. I just post hot selfies and let the algorithm do God’s work.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

A police lineup, but you have to recognize your dad’s sneeze.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

He’s an everything bagel… I’m just a nothing burger…

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Annoyed because I want to live my life without a job.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Lovingly looking at my dog knowing I’m about to ruin her day with a bath.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,894

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

Whenever I lose my faith in justice, I look at the high school beauties from back then today. Then I’m fine again.

Seen just now on X:

It’s pretty apt that the ‘i’ is in the middle of ‘hurricane’.

Going viral on Instagram:

When I die I want people to say “Hmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”

Trending via WeChat:

My comments on your home decor are not criticisms, they are deep concerns.

Trending via Instagram:

My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

Just shared via Instagram:

The reason I don’t trust polls is because the people being polled are people who willingly answer the phone when an unknown number is calling them.

Trending via Pinterest:

I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

I want my name to come up when you go to confession.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Making sure even the priest remembers you in prayer 🙏😇! Because a little fame never hurt, right? 😂 #confessiongoals"

church, confession, guilt, humor, i, irony, joke, name, relationship, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The feminine urge to be the most feared witch in the village.

2 months ago
empowerment, fear, feminine, feminine urge, humor, most, superstition, urge, village, witch
The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

2 months ago
E, everything, humor, identity, joke, name, need, wordplay
Walking into someone’s house with healthy, thriving houseplants everywhere: “Oh, I see you dabble in witchcraft!”

1 month ago
everywhere, gardening, healthy, house, houseplant, humor, i, indoor, indoor gardening, joke, observation, oh, plants, stereotype, thriving, walking, witchcraft
These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.

1 month ago
act, awkwardness, clothing, humor, laundromat, never, people, public, Speedo, surprise
It doesn’t matter how old you are, when it starts thundering and lightning, you go and sit at the window to watch.

5 months ago
age, childhood, funny observation, lightning, matter, nostalgia, observation, old, sit, storm, thunder, watch, weather, window
The problem with leading by example is that no one pays attention.

1 month ago
attention, authority, example, humor, irony, leadership, motivation, problem

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Jesus, I need money to organize your birthday.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

I received a DM telling me that I’ve offended some of you. I’m truly sorry; I meant to offend all of you.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Obituaries should have clickbait titles.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

New cinephile technique “method watching” — when you watch a movie and then act and talk like the main character for 2 months.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

You live in a great city when you get pooped on by a seagull instead of a pigeon.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

If I let you into my life, I am either emotionally invested or you are a grilled cheese sandwich.

Making waves on TikTok:

I really love how squirrels get extra chubby heading into winter mostly because it’s super relatable.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Just googled “insanity” over and over but was expecting different results.

Breaking via WeChat:

Miso soup is such a silly name, like “Yes, you so soup.”

Just landed via Reddit:

Aliens will always remain unidentified because they’re embarrassed to be associated with us humans.

Seen just now on TikTok:

My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I want my name to come up when you go to confession.

The feminine urge to be the most feared witch in the village.

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Walking into someone’s house with healthy, thriving houseplants everywhere: “Oh, I see you dabble in witchcraft!”

These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.

It doesn’t matter how old you are, when it starts thundering and lightning, you go and sit at the window to watch.

The problem with leading by example is that no one pays attention.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Sometimes when I get negative feedback I’m like “Hey, only I get to talk to myself that way”.

Life would be so much easier if you could push a button that makes dickheads fall through a trap door in the floor.

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” Yeah, well, I just analyzed it from a Marxist perspective, and it was pretty obvious.

I’m so lucky people can’t hear what I’m thinking.

I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Just remembered I can just get drunk after work instead of quitting. That was a close one.

If you go by “Toni,” I always think your full name is Rigatoni.

I love Queen and David Bowie, but why did they steal that riff from Vanilla Ice?

I don’t understand the phrase “You can’t have your cake and eat it” because if I have cake, what the hell else am I supposed to do with it.

Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

Breaking News: No matter how close you are with your colleagues, never discuss your personal matters at work. Neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Sorry I’m late, I was fighting for my right to party.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I was telling my sister that I’ve been going to the gym recently, and my nephew said, “You should go inside when you get there,” and I don’t think I’ll ever recover from that.

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

Light is faster than sound. That’s why people seem so bright until you hear them talk.

My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

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I want my name to come up when you go to confession.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The feminine urge to be the most feared witch in the village.

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Walking into someone’s house with healthy, thriving houseplants everywhere: “Oh, I see you dabble in witchcraft!”

These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.

It doesn’t matter how old you are, when it starts thundering and lightning, you go and sit at the window to watch.

The problem with leading by example is that no one pays attention.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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