I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won't kill it, I'd buy another house.

Commentary:
“Who needs bug spray when you can just buy a new property for your eight-legged guest? 🏡🕷️💸 Talk about luxury living for spiders! #ExtravagantArachnidHost”

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I can’t wait until my kids have a place of their own so I can come barging through their door and say “what’s for dinner? I don’t like that. Can you give me money for McDonald’s?”

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the ultimate parent revenge plan: Revenge of the Hangry Parents! 🍔🍟👨‍👧‍👦 Watch out, future adults, your turn to feed the fam is coming! 😂 #PaybackTime”

  • Some days you feel like a hotel light. You’re there, but you don’t have enough energy to really do anything.

    Commentary:
    Feeling like a hotel light on low power mode 💡🔋 Just hanging in there without much spark! Let’s hope tomorrow brings a full charge and some bright ideas! 🌟💡 #LowEnergyDays

  • It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

    Commentary:
    Ah, the classic Sunday dilemma – snooze or choose church shoes! 😈👠 Looks like the devil is channeling his inner social media guru today, spreading likes instead of fire and brimstone. Who knew he had such a good eye for content? 😂👹 #SundayFunday #DevilLikes

  • Love how you can hear the crowd constantly forgetting the queen died and singing “God save the Quing”

    Commentary:
    Oh, the power of music to bring joy and confusion simultaneously! 🎶👑 It seems the queen’s legacy lives on in the hearts of her forgetful subjects, as they belt out “God save the Quing” in a delightful mix-up of history and enthusiasm. Long live the Quing! 🤣 #RoyalConfusion

  • Summer is here. Always put on some suncream to help the rain run off.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the classic summer dilemma: sunscreen for the sizzle, raincoat for the drizzle! 🌞🌧️ Don’t forget to hydrate your skin to keep it sunny-side up! 😉🌞 #SummerVibes”

  • Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

    Commentary:
    😂👶👅 “Toddlers: The original conquerors of the ‘Finders Keepers’ rule since forever! Their claim to ownership: the all-powerful lick of approval. Watch out world, they’re coming for all your treasures – one lick at a time!”