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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

When animals lead you to a place, it’s so cute… like, yes, I’m still following. Thank you for constantly turning around to make sure.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Trying to explain to my cat why she can’t jump off the balcony, even though I want to as well.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Social media is mental suicide.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I am not old. I am in the prime of my decay.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

You should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. What do you mean I have to do it again?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

My handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,286

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.

Trending via Twitch:

Thought I would mix things up today and sit in a new spot on my couch. Absolute chaos over here.

Just shared via Threads:

Imagine hating me and i’m just over here doing a much better job at hating myself than any of y’all could do.

Seen just now on Discord:

Fellas, be sure to never ask a lady any questions on a date. This makes them feel interrogated. Strong declarative statements only.

Spotted on Twitch:

The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

Going bananas on Slack:

Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

Spotted on Slack:

My body is a temple. An ancient, creaky temple with questionable plumbing.

Making waves on TikTok:

Me: I have a cut under my fingernail. Universe: Excellent, I will send you an unusually high number of encounters with citrus fruit.

I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

Funny quote about self-deprecating humor with witty remarks on appearance.
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Commentary:
"Looks like the path of zero return started early for this person! 👶📉 Let's hope they peaked in cuteness and not just in self-deprecation! 😂 #BabyGoneBad"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on Telegram this month:

It must be hard having an erectile dysfunction.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

He died doing what he loved: trying to find out if gang members are ticklish.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

I wish I could get a bouquet of mozzarella sticks.

38 shares on TikTok this month:

The best way to reach me is with intelligence and humor.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Girl, he’s nonchalant because he doesn’t like you. He’s definitely chalanting somewhere else.

19 shares on Discord this month:

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

23 shares on Messenger this month:

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

14 shares on Instagram this month:

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

15 shares on Snapchat this month:

Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe if we sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Be the nonsense you wish to see in the world.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Most puns make me feel numb, but math puns make me feel number.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re not lazy, you’re just buffering in HD.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Each day on Twitter, there is one main character. The goal is to never be it.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s really important to stay hydrated at work, so you can take as many 10-minute-long bathroom breaks as possible.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Going ballistic. Anyone need anything?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,613

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

If these walls could talk, they would definitely say “Wow, this guy really does add cheese to everything after all!”

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

I have this epiphany every night that I need to turn it up a notch.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Scared to go on dates, cause what if I find the one and never be able to be single again.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Might mess around and reply to all work emails with “make me”.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

I like it when you’re reading a comic and you can tell the writer is pissed about what the last writer did to the character.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via TikTok:

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Life is what happens in between trips to the fridge.

Shared recently on Discord:

As it turns out, the only way to avoid work stress is not going.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Gonna vibe recklessly and call it “character development”

Making waves on WeChat:

I am a firm believer that singing ‘Slide Away’ at the top of your lungs changes you as a person.

Shared recently on Threads:

Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

Shared recently on Threads:

Married life: Telling your partner the same sentence 7 days in a row, only for him to say, “You definitely never told me that!”

Spotted on Snapchat:

A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.

Just landed via X:

“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

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