Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.
  • Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.
  • Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.
  • I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.
  • There are risks you take when camping: severe weather, wild animals, someone bringing an acoustic guitar.
  • I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind.