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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

I don’t need the web for attention, I jog in a wedding dress.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. It will never bring you true happiness or fulfillment. Also, it’s a felony.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Unlocking new levels of iron deficiency.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Does no one disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore, or is there just too much other news?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Oxygen was discovered in 1773. How did our ancestors breathe before then?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,698

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Pinterest:

People keep wishing January was over like the worst month of the year isn’t coming up next. Thats like wishing someone would stop arguing with you and just punch you in the face.

Seen just now on X:

Deeply unfair of people to assume I have my life together just because I’m boring.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Did you guys know that you can actually do whatever you want all the time?

Spotted on Twitch:

I would rather walk barefoot across a carpet made out of Legos than go to my high school reunion.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Figure skating is so niche that sometimes I walk in the rink, and there’s an Olympic medalist there.

Trending via Discord:

For Halloween, you should be mine.

Just landed via Slack:

If I’m too much for you, then go and find less.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I tried a onesome before, but I started catching feelings.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Do you think I’ll read a book again at some point or will I continue to dumb myself down with 12 hours of screen time?

Broadcasted on Slack:

The ‘b’ in ‘subtle’ totally is.

I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

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I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.
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Commentary:
"Looks like the 'dumbing down' strategy will have to wait! 😜 Maybe sticking with reality TV for now is the safer bet! 🍻 #CheersToClearMinds"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on WeChat this month:

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

86 shares on YouTube this month:

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

78 shares on Telegram this month:

We need to stop making more Christmas music. We have enough.

15 shares on Discord this month:

I will never stop being a quitter!

39 shares on WeChat this month:

Hope this email finds you moonwalking out of work early.

97 shares on Pinterest this month:

That moment when you’re reading but realize you forgot to understand.

13 shares on WeChat this month:

I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin ME.

57 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m so disappointed when I help my kid with her homework, and she brings it home marked incorrect.

26 shares on Reddit this month:

Sorry, I’m late. I got here when I wanted to.

50 shares on WeChat this month:

Watching women’s tennis and getting angry at the net. We shouldn’t put needless obstacles in the way of women.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Forget hot girl summer, it’s rot girl summer (laying in bed, reading books, laying under layers of soft blankets).

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Damn girl, are you a plate of microwaved leftovers? Because you’re hot on the outside and cold on the inside.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Dissecting an alien and getting bitterly jealous at their crazy organs.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop animal testing! Use my ex!

9 folks are currently checking 👀

In an alternate universe, the hard way is always learning me.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

People will be like “there is no right or wrong way to do it” until you do it the wrong way.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

What are some beginner bad habits for someone just getting into ruining their life?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I use a Windows computer, it’s like they built malware into the OS. Like, what do you mean there are ads in the start menu?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,712

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

I love cutting off Teslas. Like you may not let me merge over but your car sure as hell will.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Even at my most powerful, I’m still a little sleepy.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

There’s a weird kind of grief that comes with late August, and I can’t explain it.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Maybe your dog is barking at my luggage because he doesn’t enjoy his job, officer.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

“It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

If being hard on yourself worked, it would have worked by now!

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Thinking of starting a true crime podcast. Gotta explain this search history somehow.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.

Just landed via Threads:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking.

Just shared via Discord:

If you need me, I will be at the library sniffing old books.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

The nicest thing I’ve done for a date is turn up.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

If you aren’t sleeping with me, then you’re sleeping against me.

Going bananas on TikTok:

My husband has entered the “fun socks” years.

Making waves on Slack:

Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.

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