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Commentary:
Looks like someone's got a sharp eye for business! 👀💼 Better watch out, their stare might just cost you more than you bargained for! 🤑 #TariffOnToughStares

25, charge, gaze, humor, i, sarcasm, steel, tariff, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.

0

2 months ago

activity, avoidance, behavior, chore, cleaner, driveway, funny activity, humor, i, just, me, neighbors, outdoor, outdoor chore, outside, quirky, quirky behavior, run, social, social avoidance, talk, vacuum, vacuum cleaner
Not being able to see Likes on posts is a tragedy. Love it when two people are arguing and you can see all their little backup dancers.

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2 months ago

arguing, backup, backup dancer, being, dancer, entertainment, humor, interaction, likes, little, love, media, observation, people, posts, social, social media, tragedy
Adulting is difficult. One minute you’re proud of yourself, the next minute you feel like you’re not doing enough.

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2 months ago

adulting, difficult, doing, emotion, enough, feel, growth, minute, motivation, next, personal, personal growth, pride, proud, self-doubt, struggle, yourself
In your 20s, you will be tempted to prove that you’re doing well. It’s important you resist performing for an audience that isn’t watching.

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3 weeks ago

20s, audience, authenticity, doing, growth, important, performing, personal, personal growth, prove, resist, resistance, self-awareness, temptation, watching, well
Everybody in the grocery store is my enemy, and I will not be elaborating.

0

4 days ago

enemy, frustration, grocery, grocery store, humor, i, interaction, social, social interaction, store
Next on Tiny Houses: A family of 6 moves into a boat emoji.

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2 months ago

6, boat, emoji, family, house, houses, humor, moves, moving, next, television, tiny, tiny house

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on Reddit this month:

My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

68 shares on Reddit this month:

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

16 shares on Reddit this month:

I once made the irresponsible decision to drink and drive and now I have to live the rest of my days with a coffee stain on my favorite sweater.

19 shares on Slack this month:

I lied, there’s no sex. I just need you to change the batteries in my smoke detectors.

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

64 shares on Messenger this month:

I pray this boy wins in life. I wanna see him on top of me.

89 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m not even doomscrolling anymore; I’m just regular scrolling, and everything’s doomed.

18 shares on Reddit this month:

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

81 shares on Discord this month:

Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

41 shares on X this month:

Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Britney Spears working at an ice-cream shop called ‘Scoops, I did it again.’

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Statistically speaking, on average, a person has two arms, two legs, one testicle, and one ovary.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Imagine going to see a situationship in 1868, and you go outside, and your horse is dead as hell.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

I might be late to a lot of places, but the airport is not one of them.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Manifesting you in my bed.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Every word wishes it could sound as fun as falafel.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

I’ve never been cut in half by a magician, but I have worn jeans on Thanksgiving. Same thing.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

I may be sensitive, but everyone else could be a little kinder, too.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

An escape room, but it’s just your high school reunion.

Trending via YouTube:

If reports from this daisy are accurate, she loves me not.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Maximizing rent value by turning ‘homebody’ into an Olympic sport!

Breaking via Messenger:

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

Just shared via Slack:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Please respond to my telepathic messages.

Live now on Facebook:

I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.

Seen just now on X:

I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

Spotted on Messenger:

“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I will charge a 25% tariff on my steely gaze.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.

Not being able to see Likes on posts is a tragedy. Love it when two people are arguing and you can see all their little backup dancers.

Adulting is difficult. One minute you’re proud of yourself, the next minute you feel like you’re not doing enough.

In your 20s, you will be tempted to prove that you’re doing well. It’s important you resist performing for an audience that isn’t watching.

Everybody in the grocery store is my enemy, and I will not be elaborating.

Next on Tiny Houses: A family of 6 moves into a boat emoji.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨