Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Actually, you’re having a conversation with yourself. I’m just here so you don’t appear totally insane.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

When the gun shoots your brain, that’s amore.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Some Uber rides in NYC are the same price as a JetBlue flight to Miami.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink, have music at a normal volume, and there are no people, and it’s my house.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

It was the kind of movie that kept you on the edge of your seat, waiting for something interesting to happen.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

People who remember to drink water, what’s that like?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

I enjoy excess, but only in moderation.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Revenge? No. I just post hot selfies and let the algorithm do God’s work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,280

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Neighbors are fighting. Can I knock on the wall and ask them to speak up so I know whose side I’m on?

Spotted on Instagram:

How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

Trending via Telegram:

Lack of sex really gets you mad at every little thing for no reason.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Dear recipe websites. I don’t need your life story. Just give me the recipe.

Breaking via Slack:

After cooking show a dishwashing show with same host but kind of drunk.

Making waves on Twitch:

Moms will vacuum the ceiling, alphabetize the spice rack, reorganize your socks, then say, “No one helps me around here!”

Going viral on Facebook:

It’s scary when an attractive person is attracted to you, omg.

Spotted on Messenger:

Ordered a coffee, and the barista said, “Anything else?” and I almost said, “Stability.”

Just shared via YouTube:

“You’re so chill.” Thanks, I gave up.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Y’all ever withheld good news so that it remains untouched by negativity?

I will never understand people who don’t gasp dramatically at rainbows.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Why miss out on nature's free light show? 🌈😲 #DramaticGaspClub

drama, emotion, gasp, humor, i, nature, never, people, rainbow, reaction, understand

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

0

2 months ago

30, assistant, better, brushing, care, dental, dental care, dentist, humor, money, mouth, playing, rich, ships, sinking, sinking ships, staring, wealth
Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

0

2 months ago

academic, ending, humor, i, opinion, paper, procrastination, sarcasm, thesis, think, writing
Daffodil totally sounds like an insult, you blooming daffodil.

0

2 months ago

daffodil, flower, humor, insult, playful, sarcasm, sounds, wordplay
Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

0

2 months ago

apology, awkwardness, distraction, eye, flirting, humor, i, joke, misunderstanding, playful, something, sorry, thought
Someone needs to make an app for a Tamagotchi that you keep alive by going offline.

0

1 week ago

alive, app, digital, digital pet, going, humor, irony, keep, mobile, mobile app, needs, offline, pet, someone, Tamagotchi, technology, virtual, virtual pet
I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

0

2 months ago

confusion, Earth, humans, humor, i, know, put, Salesforce, technology, think, unnatural

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on Reddit this month:

They say you should dress for the job you want then send you home as “the stormtrooper suit is not appropriate work attire”.

79 shares on Twitch this month:

You will meet a girl who is very strange and a little bit evil. It’s really important that you don’t lose me.

50 shares on Threads this month:

My favorite kind of gender reveal is the one where the parents find out, and they just tell everyone through text instead of making me go to a party.

54 shares on Slack this month:

Tuesday is just another Monday, but reheated.

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

They should invent a day where you aren’t tired.

83 shares on Reddit this month:

I have poor night vision so I upgraded to LED headlights because it’s important to me to ensure nobody else can see either.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

When someone has “Do Not Disturb” on, it’s like, oh, okay, I didn’t realize the great philosopher was in their hour of seclusion. Pardon me for even daring to enter their precious mind palace.

32 shares on Threads this month:

How do you tell someone that you will probably end up marrying them, but in a casual way?

92 shares on TikTok this month:

According to a recent study, women who are a little overweight live longer than men who mention it.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

My New Year’s resolution is to emit a powerful beam of light.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Ghosting is disrespectful unless it’s me doing it.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

My boss just left which means I have finished all of my work for the day.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Saw an article on “100 things to do before you die.” Was surprised Call 911 didn’t make the list.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Most puns make me feel numb, but math puns make me feel number.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

It’s weird when you realize that what you thought was rock bottom was actually somewhere around rock middle.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

have one of those big paintings with the eyeholes cut out, but I don’t have anyone to spy on, so I just watch TV through it.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Taking off my house pajamas to put on my errands pajamas.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Sorry for being so cringey and awkward. It will definitely happen again.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

My handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Rewatching my story every time somebody heart it to see what they see.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I refuse to learn the color coding for heart emojis. Your heart means what I want it to, and vice versa.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Turns out I like you a lot more than I originally planned.

Just landed via Slack:

Sorry, I said yippee when you took off your pants. Do you still think I’m hot?

Going bananas on Telegram:

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

Going viral on Snapchat:

My favorite hobby is withering away.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I will never understand people who don’t gasp dramatically at rainbows.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

Daffodil totally sounds like an insult, you blooming daffodil.

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

Someone needs to make an app for a Tamagotchi that you keep alive by going offline.

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨