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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Let’s lay on the couch together, play on our phones, and ignore each other, babe.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Meteorologists are always talking about the weather and hardly ever about meteors.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Sex is cool, but have you ever received reassurance without asking for it?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

How to write complaints: “Dear customer service, first of all, you should know that I am typing this with my middle finger.”

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Dating a smart man, so I actually can turn my brain off when he is around.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Time machine? You mean a clock?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Literally no one understands something more completely than a woman in a meeting who starts a question with “Just so I understand …”

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I don’t have an advent calendar, so I’m just opening cupboard doors and eating what’s in there.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

The one nice thing about your friends’ divorces is no one invites you to them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,267

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

I don’t freak out until I see the Buddhists freaking out.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’m “I can’t sit like that for too long” years old.

Seen just now on Messenger:

God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

Just landed via Discord:

I delete posts cause I be getting mature over the hours.

Trending via Snapchat:

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

Seen just now on YouTube:

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Recovering people pleasers will be like, “I’m in my villain era!” and it’s just politely drawing healthy boundaries.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Kids these days don’t know the shame of having to explain yo-yo injuries.

Spotted on Messenger:

Imagine being social on social media.

I will never understand people who don’t gasp dramatically at rainbows.

0
I will never understand people who don’t gasp dramatically at rainbows.
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Commentary:
Why miss out on nature's free light show? 🌈😲 #DramaticGaspClub

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Messenger this month:

Is 27 a good age to leave everything you know and love, and start over?

67 shares on Facebook this month:

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The problem with relationships these days is you don’t know if you’re the one being cheated on, or cheated with.

17 shares on Telegram this month:

I wonder if BBQ thinks about me too.

69 shares on Slack this month:

No, don’t worry about him, babe. That’s just my soulmate.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

43 shares on WeChat this month:

I can’t believe I used to think I was stressed in high school.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

You know how a dog tilts his head and looks confused when he hears a strange sound? Yeah, that’s how I feel when some people are talking.

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Slowly I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

95 shares on Telegram this month:

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s time to stare blankly at my wall for hours straight and think about where I went wrong with my life.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Brainwashing is always considered terrible and horrible. But there are many brains that would benefit from a wash.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My youngest started kindergarten today and I cried, but mostly for his teachers.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m equally comfortable holding a guitar as I am holding a baby, I just hold them both by the neck.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Taking off my house pajamas to put on my errands pajamas.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Deleting the paragraph you wrote and texting back “ok” is a different type of self-control.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re so vain. You probably think me being in this tree outside your house is about you.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Parent hack: Shut your child’s bedroom door to make your house cleaner.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,546

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

How is every author the #1 New York Times bestseller?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Don’t ask me ‘how are you?’ unless you’re willing to sign an NDA.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

My favorite type of gender reveal is the one where they just tell me and I don’t have to go to a party to find out.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I keep my mind active by worrying.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Elevator rides in real life: 30 seconds long. Elevator rides in movies: Two minutes long.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Unpopular opinion: a honeymoon is more needed 5 to 10 years down the road, versus right after getting married.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always known I wanted to be a woman with a lot of money when I grew up.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

They say we learn from our mistakes. That’s why I’m making as many as possible… I’ll be a genius soon.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Worst part about not buying snacks so you won’t eat snacks is not having snacks when you need a lil snack.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Shared recently on Slack:

I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

Live now on LinkedIn:

Working out consistently yields results, but mannnnnnn…… the laundry.

Freshly posted on X:

Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”. So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.

Making waves on Discord:

Toasters aren’t governed by that little dial. They have free will.

Just landed via TikTok:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

Making waves on Pinterest:

If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

Spotted on X:

Those eyes ain’t gonna roll itself, let me help you.

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