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🤣 Oh, the never-ending quest to uncover long-lost relatives and dusty family trees! 🌳 Who needs a soap opera when you have your family drama, right? 🤷‍♂️ Embrace the chaos, embrace the quirks, and maybe just stick to knowing who's bringing the potato salad to the next reunion! 😉 #FamilyMysteriesUnsolved

ancestry, bad, current, enough, family, fascination, humor, i, knowing, never, understand, understanding

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Opening this app is like lighting a cigarette.

2 months ago
addiction, analogy, app, cigarette, habit, humor, lighting, opening
Coding: Where incessantly talking to yourself seems completely normal and debugging is like being a detective in a movie where you are both the detective and the perpetrator.

1 month ago
being, coding, debugging, detective, humor, movie, normal, problem-solving, programming, self-talk, talking, where, yourself
I don’t drink and drive, but some people drive me to drink.

1 month ago
alcohol, drama, drink, drinking, drive, driving, friendship, humor, humor quote, i, me, party, people, relationship
And to my children, I leave 127 open tabs on Safari.

5 months ago
children, humor, i, inheritance, internet, leave, multitasking, open, open tab, Safari, tab, tabs
I don’t know what kind of sex makes y’all want a joint bank account, but I ain’t had it yet.

3 months ago
account, bank, couple, humor, i, joint, joint bank account, kind, know, marriage, money, relationship, sex, want
Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

1 month ago
character, choices, food, humor, i, irony, pizza, say, slice, someone, something, sometimes, trust, unexpected

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I’m giving up eating chocolate for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I’m giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

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I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

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A weekend spent doing nothing is a weekend well spent.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

I have re-entered the Band of Brothers rewatch stage of male depression.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

No, don’t worry about him, babe. That’s just my soulmate.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

They should invent a type of sleeping where you wake up feeling rested.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Eating dark chocolate is practically eating vegetables.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I want to make fun of Kanye but I’m always losing my shit on the internet too.

Going bananas on Messenger:

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I would describe my personal style as whatever is on top of the pile of clothes on the floor.

Wordgag ツ

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I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

Opening this app is like lighting a cigarette.

Coding: Where incessantly talking to yourself seems completely normal and debugging is like being a detective in a movie where you are both the detective and the perpetrator.

I don’t drink and drive, but some people drive me to drink.

And to my children, I leave 127 open tabs on Safari.

I don’t know what kind of sex makes y’all want a joint bank account, but I ain’t had it yet.

Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

At the grocery store, progressively booing louder as the clerk scans each item.

My dad once sneezed so hard that he set every clock back two hours.

Yes, my sex drive is higher than my will to live, and what about it?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Goodbye, August, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

I had a sex dream last night that felt so real, I’m just gonna go ahead and add it to my body count.

Explain it to me like I’m 5 drinks in.

I am not living la vida loca. I am loca because of la vida.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not working.

Billionaires are so weird. What are you saving up for? Hell?

Ground beef implies the existence of sky beef.

“Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

The me who snips coupons needs to communicate better with the me who walks into the stores.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your clothes are still in the washing machine.

I have to pee. Story of my life.

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

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I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Opening this app is like lighting a cigarette.

Coding: Where incessantly talking to yourself seems completely normal and debugging is like being a detective in a movie where you are both the detective and the perpetrator.

I don’t drink and drive, but some people drive me to drink.

And to my children, I leave 127 open tabs on Safari.

I don’t know what kind of sex makes y’all want a joint bank account, but I ain’t had it yet.

Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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