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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Started the year single. Ending the year single. Consistency is key.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Take one positive friend and one negative friend with you on your next road trip. That way when your battery dies, you can hook cables to them and start your car.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

I think it’s time I find myself a new inspiration, asking myself “what would Batman do?” gets me in too much trouble.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2394 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,556

Funny Quotes Topics

15,236

Funny Quotes Images

12,556

2 minutes ago

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

If I block you and you email me, you’re getting another chance.

Just landed via Snapchat:

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

Going viral on Slack:

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

Live now on Pinterest:

If I had money, my life would be pretty much the same, but my dogs would destroy much nicer stuff.

Just shared via Reddit:

Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

None of this matters and we are all going to die. Have a great weekend!

Going viral on Snapchat:

Maybe the clouds, trees, and flowers love looking at you too.

Just shared via Instagram:

I don’t just hold a grudge; I love it, pet it, feed it and take it for long walks on the beach.

Trending via WhatsApp:

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

Seen just now on Facebook:

Shouldn’t autocorrect be called autoassume?

I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

4 months ago

I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

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Commentary:
🤣 Oh, the never-ending quest to uncover long-lost relatives and dusty family trees! 🌳 Who needs a soap opera when you have your family drama, right? 🤷‍♂️ Embrace the chaos, embrace the quirks, and maybe just stick to knowing who's bringing the potato salad to the next reunion! 😉 #FamilyMysteriesUnsolved

ancestry, bad, current, enough, family, fascination, humor, i, knowing, never, understand, understanding

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2394 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,556

Funny Quotes Topics

15,236

Funny Quotes Images

12,556

2 minutes ago

3,451

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

I’ve got to start taking better care of myself. Tomorrow I’ll walk to the liquor store.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

It’s so hot outside that when I opened my front door I thought I was checking on my oven.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

If they’re called leggings, why is your stomach in there?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

“Is everything okay?” Bro, nothing has been since I turned 12.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Twitter is where the broken, the used, the fighters, and the lovers gather to appreciate the twisted beauty in one another.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then.

Making waves on Threads:

Every morning, the cat watches me make coffee and asks if we can go sit out on the balcony to watch the birds, and every morning I say, yes, of course, let’s.

Making waves on Discord:

What do you mean I overthink things (as I wonder if I hurt my dog’s feelings by liking cat videos on Instagram)?

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I haven’t lost my virginity because I never lose.

Just landed via Telegram:

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

Making waves on Facebook:

Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

They should invent a self-checkout where someone else scans the items and puts them in a bag.

Shared recently on YouTube:

“At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

“Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” is now 40 years old. If you have an earworm now, you also have back pain.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Basketball’s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”

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