Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Sometimes I’ll call in, disguise my voice, and insist on speaking to me, or I’ll take my business elsewhere.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Who you are when someone reaches over to take food from your plate… is the real you.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

When I was a kid, I had to walk to Netflix.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

How coked up was the guy that came up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

I highly recommend having hobbies, it distracts you from falling in love unnecessarily.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,259

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Don’t be ashamed to fart while you urinate, cause there is no rain without thunder.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Snakes don’t hiss anymore, they call you babe, bro, or friend.

Trending via TikTok:

You didn’t get fired, your job “fumbled you”.

Breaking via X:

I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.

Just landed via Discord:

Name something cuter than a baby in a bucket hat on the beach.

Spotted on Discord:

There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I used to be sad about the climate apocalypse, but I went on a few dates and, honestly, I’m ready now.

Making waves on Threads:

Did you know that it’s actually possible to say, “I don’t know enough about this to have an opinion”?

Spotted on Instagram:

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

I will sit in the rain about this.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess that means you're officially 'reigning' over your thoughts! ☔️🤔😂

humor, i, patience, rain, sit, sitting, stubbornness, weather

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed.

0

4 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, dating, getting, getting the ick, ick, moment, peeve, pet, pet peeve, put, rate, windshield, windshield wiper, wiper
Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.

0

2 months ago

attract, attraction, humor, opposites, relationship, undress
Relationship status: you’d think something called a Roomba would be a better dancer.

0

2 months ago

better, cleaning, dancer, humor, relationship, Roomba, something, status, technology, think
I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can’t find them.

0

2 months ago

hidden, hidden talent, humor, i, irony, joke, problem, self-deprecation, talent
She doesn’t want flowers, she wants to invoke an ancient curse.

0

2 months ago

ancient, curse, desire, flowers, gift, humor, joke, relationship, want, wants, witchcraft
Asking myself if that was too weird after I hit send.

0

6 months ago

after, anxiety, asking, communication, hit, i, myself, overthinking, self-doubt, send, social, social anxiety, texting, too, weird, weirdness

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on Instagram this month:

I slept for 11 hours last night, just wanted everyone with kids to know that.

19 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m not calling anyone daddy unless I’m asking for money for the mall.

41 shares on Slack this month:

If I’m ever in a coma, please put chapstick on my lips.

73 shares on WeChat this month:

Stages of Christmas shopping: 1. There’s plenty of time. 2. Oh no!

39 shares on TikTok this month:

There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

43 shares on Slack this month:

If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope it’s a gummy bear.

40 shares on Slack this month:

Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

77 shares on Twitch this month:

I am cutting contact with my 3-year-old narcissist nephew.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

Traveling long distance without earphones feels like you’re serving a jail term.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

I live in constant fear of being asked to repeat what you just said after I say I’m listening.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

It doesn’t matter how old you get, buying snacks for a road trip should always look like an unsupervised 9-year-old was given $100.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

The sexual tension between me and not finishing the last 2 episodes of a drama.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Your call is really important to us but first enjoy this clarinet number for the next seventy five minutes.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Being loved right feels like telepathy and a little bit of witchcraft.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I’m no Hobbit, but I do often walk blindly into some rather dodgy situations.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Can you imagine being a 7th grade girl and being able to see your crush’s bedroom during Zoom math class.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

Sorry for acting weird, I am weird, and it will happen again.

Just shared via Threads:

Technology has gone too far, man. My roommate is logged out of his lightbulbs because he forgot his password.

Spotted on Snapchat:

So much anger in this small little body. I feel like a chihuahua.

Going viral on TikTok:

Sometimes I feel useless, but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

Shared recently on Facebook:

No one talks about the horrific event of meeting someone who is exactly your type.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Don’t tell me to trust my gut. Thats where I put my snacks. Clearly that’s where I’m the weakest.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Strange new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Linda.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Home is where you can look ugly and enjoy it.

Making waves on Reddit:

You’re not going to believe this, but I was doing really well, and then your email found me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I will sit in the rain about this.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed.

Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.

Relationship status: you’d think something called a Roomba would be a better dancer.

I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can’t find them.

She doesn’t want flowers, she wants to invoke an ancient curse.

Asking myself if that was too weird after I hit send.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨