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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has shared:

Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has viewed:

If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ณ has shared:

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has downloaded:

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like itโ€™s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฉ has copied:

Some say the world will end in fire. Others say in ice. Coming up next, our expert panel breaks down the arguments for each sideโ€ฆ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ญ has shared:

Pinky promises are still a legit foundation of trust.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has bookmarked:

Don’t be part of the problem. Be all of it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has shared:

And for my next trick, I’ll set your soul on fire.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ด has shared:

We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has viewed:

have one of those big paintings with the eyeholes cut out, but I don’t have anyone to spy on, so I just watch TV through it.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,371

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Breaking via Reddit:

Just bought a new umbrella for the person that finds it tomorrow.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I really miss kissing. I hope next year favors my lips.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I donโ€™t care for the term drug mule, why canโ€™t it be a drug unicorn.

Spotted on Messenger:

Gutted to report that spending a day offline, touching grass with my friends, was phenomenal for my mental health.

Going viral on Reddit:

There are real people living amongst us who pay for Discord Nitro.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

One day youโ€™re young and fun and the next youโ€™re excited about your organized fridge.

Making waves on X:

To be gentle in this world is an act of rebellion.

Spotted on Reddit:

Girls are happier when their dress has pockets, it’s science.

I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.

0
I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.
Download image โ†“

Commentary:
Oh, the eternal struggle between the love for relaxation and the dread of the treadmill! ๐Ÿƒโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ’ญ It's like the gym equipment is in a long-term relationship with dust rather than us. ๐Ÿ˜‚ Who knew that our commitment to lounging on the couch could be so unwavering! ๐Ÿ›‹๏ธ๐Ÿ’ช Just think of the calorie-burning potential we could achieve if Netflix had a workout integration feature! ๐Ÿ“บ๐Ÿ‹๏ธโ€โ™€

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿฅ‚ New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars โญ

62 shares on Facebook this month:

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

70 shares on Discord this month:

Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.

23 shares on X this month:

Due to inflation and tariffs, my love now costs a thing.

65 shares on Reddit this month:

Every year I realize how dumb I was a year ago.

89 shares on X this month:

At some point, my colleagues will manage to get me my own true crime documentary on Netflix.

90 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

82 shares on TikTok this month:

Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

11 shares on Discord this month:

I need money, not feelings.

90 shares on Threads this month:

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

81 shares on Threads this month:

Any porn site that allows comments is instantly funny because, like, why is that there.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

21 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here trying to remember how to spell “definitely”.

10 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

You used to calm me on my cell phone!

14 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Why are so many people going everywhere whenever I have to go anywhere?

18 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Itโ€™s funny how cats have ears on top of their head, but don’t use them.

21 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

14 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Iโ€™m not religious, but if someone is turning water into wine, letโ€™s take a second look.

14 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

When is this robot army coming to take my job?

16 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

They should send the Epstein list to everyone’s phones like that U2 album.

13 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and retweet if you agree.

7 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I donโ€™t normally like to brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the grocery store.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,456

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has bookmarked:

Thinking of starting a club for people who donโ€™t like to leave their house. There are no meetings.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฑ has bookmarked:

Asking “how’s the job hunt going?” is a lot like asking “did you come?” I promise you, you’d hear if there was any success.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡น has bookmarked:

Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡น has shared:

Husband and I were blissfully happy for 25 years. Then we met.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ผ has bookmarked:

Gonna spend today following my cats into the kitchen and meowing at them until they give me treats.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ผ has viewed:

Apparently, staying to yourself and not bothering people bothers people.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡ณ has shared:

I will marry a man who treats me delicately as if I’m a gift straight from heaven.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฏ has viewed:

Iโ€™m sorry I lied to you. I only did it for material gain. And to cause you psychological harm. And to prove Iโ€™m smarter than you.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has viewed:

Immediately de-escalating an international conflict by posting an angry looking selfie with the caption โ€œCome on, guys.โ€

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Going viral on TikTok:

Self-esteemโ€™s so bad my fantasies are hurting my feelings.

Going viral on Facebook:

Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Hereโ€™s an even bigger Q4 number that youโ€™ll be fired for missing.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Cheer up! Your biggest mistake is probably still ahead of you.

Seen just now on Reddit:

When you realize your punishments as a kid (stay home, take a nap, no junk food, go to bed early) are now your goals as an adult.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Wine shopping is 10% grape variety and 90% โ€œooohh, this one has a pretty label.โ€

Just landed via Instagram:

Please try to schedule meetings around my need for attention.

Trending via Twitch:

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Waiting for my wife to approve my new yearโ€™s resolution of making independent decisions.

Making waves on Snapchat:

A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by photoshop.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I get it dogs, I wish I could also bark at strangers approaching my house.

ยฉ 2025. All rights reserved.

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