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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Y’all can keep the nonchalant ones — I want mine weak in the knees about me.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I wasn’t planning on moving, but I was just invited to the neighborhood fall potluck, so I guess now I have no choice.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Welcome to Twitter: yeah, none of us can sleep either.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Every time I spend my own money, I feel like somebody needs to reimburse me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

763 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,925

Funny Quotes Topics

13,894

Funny Quotes Images

10,925

60 minutes ago

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Me, unwrapping a gift: Oh wow, an item. I love these!

Broadcasted on Messenger:

If you can’t handle me while I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have $600.

Reported on Reddit:

I’m only awake because my coffee needs me.

Trending via Reddit:

I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

It’s crazy people waste their time with hobbies and family when there are strangers on the internet who need to be argued with.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Thinking of starting a true crime podcast. Gotta explain this search history somehow.

Shared recently on Discord:

One year closer to whatever age my obituary will say.

Just landed via Slack:

Hey, sorry I cant make it tonight. I am beset on all sides by foes.

I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

5 months ago

I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Wow, talk about taking friendship to a whole new level! 🤏🔑 Just imagine carrying a mini version of your friend around everywhere you go. They'd be your little sidekick, always there when you need them – just make sure not to lose your keys or you might misplace your friend too! 😂 #FriendshipGoals"

add, affection, humor, ID, keychain, playful, quirky, relationship, shrink

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

763 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,925

Funny Quotes Topics

13,894

Funny Quotes Images

10,925

60 minutes ago

3,419

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Sorry about all the mean stuff I said when I was right.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Always remember, if you ever need me, I’m just several phone calls and unread texts away.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you are done.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Running from your problems is cardio.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

This meeting could have been a pajama party.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Scrolling the feed as a mature person, not judging anybody.

Just landed via Messenger:

Don’t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Does no one disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore, or is there just too much other news?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I feel sorry for dogs. They learnt to fetch newspapers, but newspapers are dying. Killed by an internet driven by cats.

Seen just now on Discord:

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

Just shared via YouTube:

Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Just shared via X:

Bluesky honestly feels like a miracle where you take the most annoying people in the world and stick them in a broken elevator together.

Live now on WeChat:

I don’t want to “act young”. I just can’t be as “grown up” as others my age.

Reported on Discord:

Why would I go to my high school reunion? I didn’t want to be there the first time.

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