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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

What can I buy my wife for Valentine’s Day that finally proves to her once and for all that I have absolutely no idea what she likes or who she is?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

If you would like to get an idea of what an exorcism is like, try putting clothes on a toddler.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

There should be a special rating system for movies that tells you how uncomfortable you’ll be if you watch them with your parents.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

You never hear anything about Mr. Rubik himself, only about his cube.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

If we’re walking together, just know I’ll definitely bump into you because I can’t walk in a straight line.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Sex is great, but have you ever had your alarm go off and then realize you don’t have to get up today?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

My Mom asks why everything is on the floor, like she never heard of gravity.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,594

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

All people make me happy. Some when they come, others when they leave.

Live now on WeChat:

I wish flies spoke English, so I could say, ‘Hey, if you don’t leave right now, I am going to kill you so hard.’

Just landed via Reddit:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I asked R2D2, and he said you’re a loser.

Breaking via Pinterest:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Trending via Telegram:

Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

Seen just now on TikTok:

When one door closes, lock it securely, along with all your other doors and windows, before any inspirational quotes get in.

Just shared via Reddit:

Sometimes when I get negative feedback I’m like “Hey, only I get to talk to myself that way”.

I’d rather lose you than the argument.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Wow, that's some next-level dedication to being right! 😂🤔💥

argument, communication, conflict, humor, ID, lose, love, prioritization, relationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Went to the toilet today without my cell phone. There are 245 tiles.

0

2 months ago

boredom, cell, cell phone, daily, daily life, experience, funny experience, humor, life, observation, phone, tiles, today, toilet
It’s that time of year where every jacket you choose is wrong.

0

2 months ago

choose, every, jacket, time, where, wrong, year
It’s quite ironic that “strap on,” backwards, spells “no parts.”

0

2 months ago

backwards, double, double meaning, humor, ironic, irony, joke, language, language joke, meaning, parts, playful, pun, reverse, reverse spelling, spelling, spells, wordplay
There are only two kinds of people, and I avoid them both.

0

2 months ago

avoid, both, humor, i, kinds, only, people
Sometimes, u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine, and pretend that’s equivalent to getting ur life in order.

0

2 months ago

clean, clean room, daily, daily routine, equivalent, getting, humor, hygiene, just, life, life order, motivation, order, personal, personal hygiene, pretend, procrastination, room, routine, self-care, skincare, skincare routine, sometimes
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but I think people who say ‘I don’t know who needs to hear this’ know exactly who needed to hear it.

0

2 months ago

communication, exactly, hear, hearing, humor, i, irony, know, message, needs, people, phrase, say, think

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on Twitch this month:

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you’re soft, don’t come to my house, cause my kids will roast you.

74 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m already ready to clock out from work tomorrow.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.

62 shares on X this month:

Can’t wait to overuse the “My husband said,” “Let me phone my husband,” “I’ll ask my husband.”

71 shares on Discord this month:

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of running everyday.

45 shares on WeChat this month:

If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

Training a cat is very easy. After a few days, you do what she wants.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

If men didn’t exist, I would simply go for a 2 a.m. walk every night and listen to music in my AirPods.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

No one is more surprised than my kids every night when I say it’s bed time.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Sneaking up behind people and marrying them.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

The shitshow must go on.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Just caught a moth and sent it back outside. Feeling like Mr. Miyagi.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

I prefer my weighted blanket in human form.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Laugh all you want. My Encyclopedia Britannica set will never require WiFi.

Breaking via Twitch:

Maybe Baby wants to be put in the corner.

Making waves on Discord:

My talents are so hidden that I can’t even find them.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Anyone want to meet up and just scream… We could get food after.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Dear music, thanks!

Freshly posted on Threads:

Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

Making waves on Slack:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and share if you agree.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’ve been called a lot of things in my life, but nothing worse than being called on the phone.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I give such good nudes that nobody ever needs to ask me for a second one.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’d rather lose you than the argument.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Went to the toilet today without my cell phone. There are 245 tiles.

It’s that time of year where every jacket you choose is wrong.

It’s quite ironic that “strap on,” backwards, spells “no parts.”

There are only two kinds of people, and I avoid them both.

Sometimes, u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine, and pretend that’s equivalent to getting ur life in order.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but I think people who say ‘I don’t know who needs to hear this’ know exactly who needed to hear it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨