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Commentary:
"If I'm ever in a coma, just make sure my lips stay moisturized and fabulous 💋 Who knows, I might wake up looking like a chapstick model! 😉"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Many of you need to put “lighten up” on your resolutions list.

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3 days ago

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None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

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2 months ago

digital, distraction, happening, humor, illusion, none, perception, phone, reality, technology
Nobody rots in bed like I do.

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2 months ago

bed, humor, i, lazy, nobody, procrastination, rot, sleep
Suffering from a forehead kisses deficiency (self-diagnosed).

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2 months ago

affection, deficiency, forehead, forehead kiss, humor, kiss, kisses, longing, relationship, self-diagnosed, suffering
Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

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2 months ago

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Every ‘c’ in ‘Pacific Ocean’ is pronounced differently.

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3 days ago

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New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Instagram this month:

Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.

36 shares on Threads this month:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

57 shares on Discord this month:

Wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety.

35 shares on Discord this month:

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sorry, I can’t tonight. I’m busy taking things personally.

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

92 shares on Threads this month:

Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

You should be able to call out of work if your partner is so cozy and warm in the morning.

64 shares on Facebook this month:

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

80 shares on Discord this month:

I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Maybe women decided to convince men that beards were sexy because they were sick of cleaning the washbasin after he shaved.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Friends with benefits, but it’s just that they make delicious baked goods.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I set up my Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, Mary, Joseph and all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Some people are so judgmental, I can tell by just looking at them.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

I don’t know what kind of sex makes y’all want a joint bank account, but I ain’t had it yet.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

My toxic trait is thinking I can nap, then waking up 3 hours later in a parallel universe where I missed everything.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

I bought a book on Feng Shui, but I don’t know where to put it.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Calling the police when someone unfollows.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

When you wish you could tell someone that won’t stop talking “Okay, we’re out of time today”, just like a therapist.

Making waves on Facebook:

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Still can’t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Let the example of my fluke success guide nearly all of you to crushing disappointment.

Going bananas on Twitch:

To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

Shared recently on Threads:

Coolest part about starting a new job is the immunity to disease you get for 3 months till you get sick days.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

January is the Monday of the year.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Welcome to your 40s—you run out of breath trying to find your running shoes.

Making waves on Twitch:

It’s not magic, but I bet you are reading this post with one leg on top of the other.

Live now on Telegram:

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

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Activity Log ✨

If I’m ever in a coma, please put chapstick on my lips.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Many of you need to put “lighten up” on your resolutions list.

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

Nobody rots in bed like I do.

Suffering from a forehead kisses deficiency (self-diagnosed).

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

Every ‘c’ in ‘Pacific Ocean’ is pronounced differently.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨