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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s—you run out of breath trying to find your running shoes.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Is 27 a good age to leave everything you know and love, and start over?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40’s: you have big plans tonight. No, you don’t.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

My favorite part of adulting is borrowing money from myself and paying myself back.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Women who don’t check a man’s phone will still use their intuition and dreams to find out if he’s cheating.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

If you’re having a good day today, don’t play Wordle.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

If a vegetarian who eats fish is a pescatarian, is a vegetarian who eats chicken called a poultrygeist?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,760

Funny Quotes Topics

17,769

Funny Quotes Images

15,760

Updated

Mar 1, 2026

Users Online

3,737

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

I used to love going out with people. Now I weigh the pros and cons of human interaction, like it’s a business decision.

Making waves on Facebook:

You look like you take lavender bubble baths with rose petals, surrounded by candles, bro.

Seen just now on Threads:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they’re dead.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Your call is really important to us but first enjoy this clarinet number for the next seventy five minutes.

Trending via Instagram:

I had no social life in high school. Even my imaginary best friend had a date for the prom.

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

4 weeks ago

Witty quote about sharing content, highlighting humor and sarcasm in a playful tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Stealing my post? I guess my sense of humor is now considered charity work! 😂📦"

empathy, humor, need, perspective, post, posts, sharing, stole, theft

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s been so long since I had sex last, went jogging in flip flops just to remember the sound.

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

50 shares on Slack this month:

Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Do y’all ever think about how, in Korean, you can’t scream over text because there’s no uppercase… I think about that all the time, for some reason.

13 shares on Pinterest this month:

You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”

13 shares on Telegram this month:

I buy candles like I’m preparing for a Victorian blackout.

53 shares on Instagram this month:

“Overdressed” is a social construct created by hating girls.

88 shares on Instagram this month:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

Stop worrying if people like you. They don’t.

57 shares on Messenger this month:

Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend I’m destroying evidence.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

“Well, this is no good. How do I turn it off?” – The first primate to experience consciousness.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Everybody say a little prayer for my husband, he just told me to calm down.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Kinda miss being a child and wondering why the moon follows me.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

When there’s food around, our cat is like an adorable, fluffy shark circling round.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Getting to the age where I’m like, “Oh, hopefully I’ll be dead by then.”

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

I’m done with self-care. Time to learn some spells.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

It’s important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

I wonder if the sun also takes pictures of humanity going down?

Just landed via Facebook:

There is no actual wolf in Wolf of Wall Street.

Just landed via Facebook:

Men used to go to war. Now they say, “Hey, Grok.”

Just shared via Discord:

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

Going viral on Snapchat:

So many people to disappoint, so little time.

Making waves on Messenger:

I become the most financially irresponsible person in the world the second I step into a Japanese stationary store.

Going viral on WeChat:

Off to my crying appointment (therapy).

Freshly posted on Discord:

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Breaking via YouTube:

There’s no sadder tableau in all of humanity than the smoker’s terrarium at the airport.

Making waves on Facebook:

With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right douche.

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Activity Log ✨

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

The sexual tension between me and a late afternoon coffee to get me through the workday.

In Russia, the cold complains about you.

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here making love.

Sisters are so important. How else would my mom find out all the stuff I didn’t want her to know.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

The sexual tension between me and a late afternoon coffee to get me through the workday.

In Russia, the cold complains about you.

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here making love.

I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

Sisters are so important. How else would my mom find out all the stuff I didn’t want her to know.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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