Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Even at my most powerful, I’m still a little sleepy.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 2 p.m. on any given day.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Sure, I could get off the couch today, but then what?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. Now, these bills got me afraid of the light.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

The Midwest urge to have a drink on a patio as soon as it’s nice out.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

I’m not saying I’m messy, but if Copperfield knew what I can make disappear, he’d be jealous.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Even wild things have slow mornings.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Having your own apartment by yourself is so funny, cause I really just swept the whole place naked.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,345

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

ADHD is: being pretty good at basically anything you want to be, and absolutely terrible at anything you need to do to live.

Making waves on Messenger:

Desperately seeking my soul, mate.

Just landed via Discord:

Nobody cleans better than someone who’s pissed off.

Just shared via Messenger:

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

Going bananas on TikTok:

Life can only give you lemons if you answer the door.

Making waves on Threads:

A few months after the wedding, Cinderella’s husband began to complain about her having too many shoes.

Shared recently on X:

I like to stay grounded by keeping the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

A foghorn but for people who can’t see through their own bullshit.

Seen just now on X:

Going out on Friday night will always be better than going out on a Saturday night.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

“Are you dating anyone?” I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

If we were subway rats, I’d share my pizza crust with you.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
The highest form of bromance: sharing pizza crumbs and a 6 train. 🍕🐀🚇

crust, friendship, humor, ID, pizza, pizza crust, rat, share, sharing, Subway, subway rat

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Breaking a heart is considered bad, but melting a heart is somehow good.

0

1 month ago

bad, breaking, breaking heart, emotion, good, heart, humor, irony, love, melting, melting heart, relationship
Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

0

2 months ago

adventure, bison, experiences, fullest, humor, life, living, selfy
My husband is the do-it-yourself type. I asked him to take out the garbage and he said, “do it yourself.”

0

2 months ago

asked, chores, do-it-yourself, garbage, humor, husband, i, marriage, relationship, take, type, wit, yourself
Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

0

2 months ago

card, card game, family, game, game night, humor, ID, learn, learning, love, night, sarcasm, sure, yes
Just saw someone my age running and she wasn’t chasing an ice-cream truck.

0

2 months ago

activity, age, chasing, fitness, humor, ice cream, just, running, someone, truck
You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

0

2 months ago

curse, curse word, family, funny moment, moment, music, play, realization, song, word, words

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on Discord this month:

My husband doesn’t find it nearly as amusing as I do when I sing, “Someday My Prince Will Come,” while I’m cleaning.

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

Did you seriously just pique my interest?

28 shares on Instagram this month:

Wolves are just dogs that nobody has called a “good boy” yet.

61 shares on Reddit this month:

Thinking of starting a religion around cheese.

38 shares on YouTube this month:

The world contains protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons.

22 shares on X this month:

Some people can start a task and then just finish it instead of trying to do a hundred things at once, like a squirrel on crack.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

I wonder if my bank account thinks about me and has panic attacks.

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

Remember when we used to jump out of the swings? Those knees were fresh, fresh out the box.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

No more looking back in anger. It’s time to look forward in anger.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

No rizz, just pretty eyes and many unsettling things to say.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

If my son ever came out as gay, I’d be so furious. Furious that he never gave me fashion advice.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Sneaking up behind people and marrying them.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

If you’re dating an alpha female, you need to know that they need to be babied at night, or else they will turn into a dragon.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

How do I become a billionaire by 9 a.m. Monday? Please, it’s urgent.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

“You’re so quick to cut someone off!” God forbid a girl actually has self-respect.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Next time I feel butterflies, I’m chugging down a bottle of tequila so they drown.

Just landed via Messenger:

Cheating on an exam by memorizing all the content beforehand so I can easily answer the questions.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I miss whatever age I was when I thought five dollars was a lot of money.

Trending via Threads:

Very difficult being a full grown adult with a terrible fear of being “in trouble”.

Making waves on Telegram:

My handwriting got like five different fonts, depends on my mood and the pen I’m using.

Making waves on X:

Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Concert tickets should be 75% off if the artist is really super special to you.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If we were subway rats, I’d share my pizza crust with you.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Breaking a heart is considered bad, but melting a heart is somehow good.

Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

My husband is the do-it-yourself type. I asked him to take out the garbage and he said, “do it yourself.”

Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

Just saw someone my age running and she wasn’t chasing an ice-cream truck.

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨