If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

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Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Love is not pushing them down the stairs when you have the opportunity.

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If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.

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The trouble with living alone is that it’s always my turn to do the dishes.

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In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

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The purpose of a meme is to disturb the humorless, and to humor the disturbed.

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I’m tired of pretending talking about the weather isn’t fun.

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If anyone wants to watch the Super Bowl on a large 8k TV, come on over to my place (and bring a large 8k TV).