Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Crazy how people can merge perfectly at McDonald’s, but not on the highway.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

House sitting for friends while they’re out of town. Never knew my buddy kept a diary.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

My mom asked me where I’m taking her to eat on Mother’s Day. I told her we have food at home.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

When someone tells me “They could care less”, instead of the proper “I couldn’t care less”, I always say “At least you care.”

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Sleep is a beautiful thing. You don’t miss anyone, you can’t do anything wrong and you simply feel nothing.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

My favorite part about health insurance is how your teeth and eyeballs are add-ons.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Trying to carry a pet to bed is like moving a dense liquid that’s annoyed by you.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,597

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.

Just landed via Discord:

“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

Just landed via Messenger:

The inventor of autocorrect walked into a bar and ordered a bear.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The Frankfurt School?? What are you majoring in, hot dog?

Making waves on Reddit:

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

On one hand, it’s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, it’s terrible to have access to the Internet.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Never make a promise you can’t keep rescheduling.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Just came back from my walk, and I was right about everything.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”

Spotted on Twitch:

Siblings are proof you can love someone and also dislike them at the same time.

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Current me looking back at past me: 🎢🤡. At least one of us is evolving!" 😂💡

age, back, comedy, foolishness, humor, idiot, maturity, realize, reflection, self, self-awareness, self-deprecating, still, younger

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I love how these vegans still drink water. That’s a fish’s house!

0

2 months ago

diet, drink, fish, house, humor, irony, lifestyle, love, vegan, water
I’m like a candle: I’m cute, I smell nice, and there’s a pretty good chance I’ll set your curtains on fire if left unattended.

0

2 months ago

candle, chance, charm, curtains, cute, danger, fire, good, humor, i, left, nice, personality, pretty, smell, unattended
Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t be a good time.

0

2 months ago

adventure, bad, bad idea, enjoyment, fun, good, good time, humor, idea, just, mean, risk, spontaneity, time
My car is making strange noises but it’s just me singing.

0

2 months ago

activity, car, humor, just, making, me, noise, noises, singing, strange, strange noise
No Botox. I need to furrow my brow when people say dumb things.

0

2 months ago

aging, Botox, brow, dumb, dumb thing, expression, facial, facial expression, furrowed, furrowed brow, humor, i, need, people, sarcasm, say, skincare, thing, things, wit
Bedtime procrastination isn’t a sleep issue. It’s a control issue. It’s about refusing to give up the last part of the day that feels like yours.

0

2 days ago

bedtime, bedtime procrastination, control, control issue, day, day end, end, feels, give, issue, last, personal, personal time, procrastination, sleep, sleep issue, time, yours

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on WeChat this month:

If you like Christmas so much, why don’t you merry it?

27 shares on Reddit this month:

It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

70 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m pretending to be a hot girl on Tinder so I can match with my roommate and tell him I’m coming over, so he’ll clean the apartment.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

To cut a long story short, I became a film editor.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

When someone says “I don’t want a relationship right now” the “at least not with you” is silent.

32 shares on Messenger this month:

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

71 shares on WeChat this month:

I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

67 shares on WeChat this month:

No one talks about the horrific event of meeting someone who is exactly your type.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Watching a movie on the plane? No thanks. Watching my seatmate’s movie with no audio and not understanding what’s going on for over an hour? Yassss.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Science has enough bodies, I’m donating mine to English lit just to spice things up a bit.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

If you see this, straighten your back, you banana-shaped mess.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I’m just trying to have a nice time despite knowing facts and information.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

My mood is currently on “shuffle”.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If it weren’t for the last minute, I’d never do anything.

Trending via TikTok:

I thrive in a waiting room. You need me to sit in a chair and look at my phone? No worries, love, I do this at home.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Sorry I’m late — I was standing in the shower, thinking about stuff.

Shared recently on TikTok:

“My reading glasses would look good on your nightstand.” -Me, flirting.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

Going viral on Messenger:

“She’s so self-centered”—who’s supposed to be the center of my life? You?

Freshly posted on Discord:

I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Of all her outfits, my shirt and no underwear will always be my favorite.

Seen just now on WeChat:

God saw you do that.

Shared recently on Discord:

I wonder how many new moms try to pick out a unique name for their baby only to later learn it’s the name of an antidepressant.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I love how these vegans still drink water. That’s a fish’s house!

I’m like a candle: I’m cute, I smell nice, and there’s a pretty good chance I’ll set your curtains on fire if left unattended.

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t be a good time.

My car is making strange noises but it’s just me singing.

No Botox. I need to furrow my brow when people say dumb things.

Bedtime procrastination isn’t a sleep issue. It’s a control issue. It’s about refusing to give up the last part of the day that feels like yours.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨