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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Part of getting older is having a favorite pen.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Why do guys named Timothy go by Tim when they could go by Moth?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Commenting “AI slop” on a high school acquaintance’s Instagram post of their newborn baby.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

If I was lying down and someone came up and gave me tons of kisses and smooshed my face, I’d love it. I don’t know what my cat’s problem is.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,569

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

I can’t stop thinking about how a tanning bed really turns you into the human version of a gas station hot dog.

Trending via YouTube:

“She’s so self-centered”—who’s supposed to be the center of my life? You?

Live now on YouTube:

Girls only want one thing, and it’s to be photographed candidly on 35mm film.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Anytime someone comments on my weight, I try to ignore them and keep my chins up.

Spotted on Telegram:

When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

Shared recently on TikTok:

He likes when I shakalaka, so, woop, there it is.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

Making waves on WeChat:

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
"Current me looking back at past me: 🎢🤡. At least one of us is evolving!" 😂💡

age, back, comedy, foolishness, humor, idiot, maturity, realize, reflection, self, self-awareness, self-deprecating, still, younger

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

0

2 months ago

bugs, confusion, humor, i, inside, irony, nature, outside, understand, whole, why
How do I get someone to unknow me? I no longer want to be known by these people.

0

2 months ago

anonymity, avoidance, boundary, desire, desire to disappear, disappear, escaping, escaping recognition, i, interaction, longer, me, people, personal, personal boundary, privacy, recognition, social, social avoidance, social interaction, someone, unknown, want, wanting, wanting to be unknown
“I’ve never done parkour, but I have chased a toddler with an open Sharpie through the house.”

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5 months ago

chase, done, funny situation, house, humor, i, never, open, parenting, parkour, Sharpie, situation, through, toddler
I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.

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2 months ago

hair, humor, i, mouth, much, self-deprecation, volume, wish
Trust my gut? The thing that makes weird gurgling noises immediately when a work meeting goes quiet.

0

2 months ago

gurgling, gut, humor, meeting, noises, quiet, thing, trust, weird, work
They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

0

2 months ago

anticipation, call, drug, earlier, feeling, having, humor, number, should, unexpected

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

11 shares on Slack this month:

For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

96 shares on X this month:

I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

86 shares on Reddit this month:

I thought I liked seeing movies, but it turns out I like eating candy in a dark room where it’s illegal to talk to me.

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.

29 shares on Threads this month:

I sign all anniversary cards with ‘Way to commit to the bit!’

57 shares on Telegram this month:

We all just kind of accept it as normal that we have a meat tentacle living inside of our mouth.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

98 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My kid asked me if I’ve ever experienced hallucinations, which is an odd thing to ask considering I don’t have any kids.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

And to my children, I leave 127 open tabs on Safari.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

If a demon ever possessed me, I’d just sit back and say, “Your problem now.”

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Girlfriend says because we got Chinese yesterday, we can’t get it again today. I don’t think that makes sense. They do it in China all the time.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

“I’m getting to an age where I realize I shouldn’t have laughed at my grandparents for having an ‘upstairs’ vacuum.”

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

I’m the ick in fantastic.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Butterflies all seem so nice but I’ll bet some of them are real bastards.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

God: “I genuinely don’t remember making you all this stupid.”

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

I’m really good at compromising as long as I get my way.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Home is where you can walk around like a bum.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Slack:

What part of “I need to save money” do I not understand?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I personally get offended when rain is referred to as “bad weather.”

Spotted on X:

Black Friday used to have heart. I wanna see someone get clocked for a Wii.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

You are not in a situationship. You are texting a man who doesn’t like you.

Making waves on Slack:

You guys ever play a game for hours straight? You start hallucinating the sounds.

Just landed via YouTube:

Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

Just landed via Slack:

Billionaires are so weird. What are you saving up for? Hell?

Going viral on Reddit:

I love when men remind me I’m evil because sometimes I be thinking I’m losing my spark.

Seen just now on YouTube:

“You’re always sleeping!” God forbid a girl wants to be unconscious.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

How do I get someone to unknow me? I no longer want to be known by these people.

“I’ve never done parkour, but I have chased a toddler with an open Sharpie through the house.”

I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.

Trust my gut? The thing that makes weird gurgling noises immediately when a work meeting goes quiet.

They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨