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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Closing down one work tab every day until Christmas like a reverse advent calendar.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

As a student, the most comforting words you’ll ever hear are “I haven’t started either.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

798 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,960

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,960

1 minute ago

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I don’t have a new year resolution, you don’t need that when you’re perfect.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

Trending via WeChat:

Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

Just landed via Messenger:

Women love it when you approach them on the street and say “whoa, is there a hot babe convention in town?”

Trending via Slack:

Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Dogs will go through amazing effort to get a better view of your plate.

Trending via Twitch:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

Trending via TikTok:

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

Reported on Twitch:

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

Just shared via X:

Sorry, I had feelings. I’ll replace them with jokes right away.

If you like Christmas so much, why don’t you merry it?

6 months ago

If you like Christmas so much, why don’t you merry it?

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Commentary:
🎄🎅 "If you like Christmas so much, why don't you merry it? Because who needs mistletoe when you can just marry Santa?" 😉💍 Embrace the holiday spirit all year round with your very own jolly ol' fella! 🎁✨ #ChristmasEveryday

celebration, Christmas, holiday, humor, joke, merry, much, pun, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

798 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,960

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,960

1 minute ago

3,421

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

That fight could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Today’s the day I’m gonna’ make the onions cry.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Whenever someone tells me how well behaved my kids are, I say it’s cause they’re not at home.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by photoshop.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Having Twitter is just like reading the newspaper, except the newspaper is on fire and all the writers hate you.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

No one suddenly needs anything more than a kid whose mom has just sat down and gotten comfortable.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

This chapter of my life is called ‘at least the rent is paid’

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

Shared recently on Facebook:

The date didn’t go well but she was nice enough to send a PDF of everything I did wrong afterwards.

Just shared via Instagram:

Haircuts should be covered by insurance.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

There should be a way to take back a compliment bestowed upon a person who doesn’t acknowledge it well.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

Making waves on YouTube:

Just flipped my mattress, should have woken up my wife first.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m looking forward to tomorrow. It’ll be much like today, but different enough to confuse me.

Spotted on Pinterest:

This going into the office stuff blows. Like, I seriously have to wear clothes now.

Trending via Twitch:

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

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