Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

If GPT-5 will have ‘Ph.D.-level intelligence’, then GPT-6 will have the intelligence of someone who decided not to get a PhD.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

231 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,500

Funny Quotes Topics

17,568

Funny Quotes Images

15,500

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,511

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Born to be a hater, forced to understand your perspective.

Going bananas on Slack:

I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

Seen just now on X:

I am calling on public libraries to ban the books that I borrowed and lost. We don’t need that kind of crap in the libraries.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Are you a software update, because not now!

Just landed via YouTube:

I’m so toxic, I can fight for a relationship I don’t even want.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I have an emotional support chicken roasting in the oven.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Beginning of August is always wild because it’s peak summertime, but the veil is so thin, like it’s Halloween.

If you need me, I’ll be in the shower pretending I can sing.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Haha, same here—just auditioning for *The Voice* in my head! 🎤🚿😂

entertainment, humor, i, me, need, pretending, routine, self-deprecating, shower, sing, singing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by “Wham” encourages you to do something you shouldn’t do.

0

2 months ago

activity, before, encouragement, fun, fun activity, humor, me, mischief, something, song, wake, wake up, Wham
wearing no bra and oversized clothes is self-care at its finest

0

5 months ago

bra, clothes, comfort, fashion, humor, no bra, oversized, oversized clothes, relaxation, self-care
People who live in glass houses should be put on a watchlist.

0

2 months ago

glass, glass house, house, houses, humor, hypocrisy, irony, judgment, live, people, put, sarcasm, should, watchlist
Arkansas is just Kansas for pirates.

0

2 months ago

Arkansas, comparison, funny comparison, geography, humor, just, Kansas, pirates, wordplay
Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

0

2 months ago

appearance, asking, honesty, humor, i, just, me, self-deprecation, stop, tired, ugly
I cannot hear a word you are saying if your hoodie strings are uneven.

0

2 months ago

distraction, fashion, hear, hearing, hoodie, humor, i, saying, strings, uneven, word

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Instagram this month:

Welcome to your 40s, you now don’t understand a single word anyone under 25 is saying.

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

61 shares on Slack this month:

The reward for doing really good work is more work.

51 shares on Threads this month:

The wind is about to blow me to Oz, so if you see me flying past your window, mind your business.

100 shares on TikTok this month:

My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.

32 shares on TikTok this month:

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

59 shares on Telegram this month:

Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s so hot out here, I saw a bird blowing on a worm before he ate it.

98 shares on WeChat this month:

I went to clean bathroom and I’m 99% sure my kids shoot their toothpaste out of a cannon.

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

If you don’t like me, remember: it’s mind over matter. I don’t mind, and you don’t matter.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Everyone thinks they will be the first person in history to maintain their dignity while posting online.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

I need to have a ginger ale about this.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

My boss doesn’t want dogs in the office. But he didn’t say anything about alpacas.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Behind every strong, independent woman… is a dog that follows her to the bathroom.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

You may find my attraction to Goofy weird, but I don’t give a hyuck.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

This coffee is not coffeeing the way I need it to be coffeeing.

Spotted on Twitch:

You guys know your secrets are safe with me. It’s the people I share them with you can’t trust.

Going viral on Reddit:

My worst fear is looking out my window at night, and someone looking right at me.

Trending via YouTube:

Welcome to Twitter, someone from an unhappy home will attend to you shortly.

Breaking via X:

Going to the gym to exercise my demons.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Life hack: You can turn your ordinary sofa into a sofa bed by simply forgetting your wife’s birthday.

Making waves on Messenger:

The fact that someone looked straight at a purple onion and named it red onion really bothers me.

Just shared via WeChat:

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I don’t have a five-year plan because every two years I realize I need a different life.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you need me, I’ll be in the shower pretending I can sing.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by “Wham” encourages you to do something you shouldn’t do.

wearing no bra and oversized clothes is self-care at its finest

People who live in glass houses should be put on a watchlist.

Arkansas is just Kansas for pirates.

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

I cannot hear a word you are saying if your hoodie strings are uneven.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨