Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.
  • Hit my coworker with “you’re a lucky man” after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.
  • I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but we’re all sitting on the couch watching TV.
  • I absolutely hate being woken from a nap. There were other treadmills in the gym that dude could have used.
  • Does anyone know if there’s a career in being a piece of shit?
  • Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?