If you play guitar in a band, always make sure to look like it hurts to play.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

I’m glad laughter is the best medicine because my insurance sucks.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

You’re always bitching about your alarm clock, but put yourself in his shoes. The first thing he sees in the morning is your face.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

You miss 100% of the gossip from the phone calls you don’t answer.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Sorry, I’m late. I got here when I wanted to.