Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch.
  • Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.
  • I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do.
  • Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.
  • Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.
  • IKEA is the swedish word for “relationship meltdown in a public place.”