Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Breakfast is the most important beer of the day.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

As president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

If I was a fish, I’d be smoking all the seaweed.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

If we hadn’t made them extinct, instead of Kung Fu Panda we could have had Tae Kwon Dodo.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

My parents didn’t raise me to order something expensive when someone else is paying.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

If you wear glasses, we expect a lot from you academically, especially if your glasses have a rope.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,608

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

I wish I was a cat. No bills, no job, just meow, meow.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Have you guys heard of recency bias? I hadn’t, but now I’m seeing it literally everywhere. Must be a big deal.

Trending via Pinterest:

Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Cowboy outfits should be called ranch dressing.

Live now on Slack:

My favorite date activity is ice skating because I’m really good at it, and it allows me to assert dominance on the ice.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I’m at the age where I’m more likely to fall asleep at the movie theater than get frisky in one.

Breaking via Threads:

How I flirt? I look at an attractive person several times and hope that they are bolder than me.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I want whatever the people who run at 6 a.m. have.

If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🔑🏠 "Ah, the universal magic trick of homeownership: waving your keys in front of a giant house and hoping for the best. If only it were that easy! Maybe we should try waving a toaster at a bank next and see if that works too? 🤷‍♂️😂"

behavior, funny idea, giant, giant house, house, humor, idea, keys, own, ownership, people, perception, social, social behavior, think

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on X this month:

Debugging is like being the detective in a crime where you are also the murderer. Following the clues of an idiot.

19 shares on Discord this month:

Do people who love escape rooms not know about IKEA?

62 shares on Slack this month:

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

60 shares on Facebook this month:

Asking women for sex just to end the conversation.

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

Basketball’s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”

16 shares on Instagram this month:

A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

55 shares on Messenger this month:

I had too much to think last night.

90 shares on TikTok this month:

Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you pretend you’re erasing the evidence of a murder while cleaning the bathroom, you’ll do a better job, and it actually becomes fun!

44 shares on X this month:

It’s legally required that you lose a frisbee onto the roof within one week of purchase.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Have to write a note to my kid’s first grade teacher, and now I’m stressed out about my handwriting.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re not in my circle of trust, you’re probably in my triangle of suspicion or rhombus of doubt.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Santa’s elves listen to wrap music.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“Do you like the Microsoft Teams app?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Phone is a cigarette for eyes.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

In general, I like company, but not when I am with my pizza.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

To everyone who wrote “stay cool” in my year book, I have some devastating news.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,337

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Hi, where do you meet someone without dating apps and if you never leave your apartment? I need tips, please. Urgently!

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

If we’re walking together, just know I’ll definitely bump into you because I can’t walk in a straight line.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Flirting when bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Of course I stay hydrated. Carbohydrated.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Yeah, I can explain that gap on my resume, I tried to move a picture in Word.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

A pie where there isn’t pastry on the bottom isn’t a pie. It’s soup with a hat.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list that I was making, and now, I can’t read anything.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

Most venomous snakes just make “Tsssss”. But I know some that say “Hi”.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

Just landed via Snapchat:

Idea: An app that tells you where that bruise came from.

Seen just now on Slack:

The only thing preventing me from moving to Finland is the language barrier and a job.

Spotted on Messenger:

Wow, you did such a great job clicking in your little spreadsheets today. Super proud of you.

Going viral on Telegram:

Not texting back is only ok when I do it.

Just landed via Reddit:

One sec, lemme just find the off switch for my brain.

Spotted on X:

Whoever coined the term coined the term coined the term coined the term.

Just landed via Reddit:

Every time I leave the house, I’m reminded why sweatpants exist.

Just landed via Telegram:

Ground beef implies the existence of sky beef.

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